August ’19 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

Books: 13

Pages: 3578

Average Rating: 2.92

 

The Bad:

Torchship Captain – 1/2 star

Empire of Silence – 1 Star

 

The Good:

The Mating Season – 4 1/2 Stars

Galactic North – 4 1/2 Stars

 

Miscellaneous:

My pagenumbers and average really sucked this month. Having several dnf’s and quite a few low rating books just dragged everything down. It did lead to a lot of clearing on my kindle and tbr though, so that is good I guess.  I’ve also decided to get rid of the Ravenloft series, even though I stated in Dance of the Dead that I was going to give it one more chance. With the changes I’ll be talking about later in the post I literally don’t have time to give chances to series that already have a proven bad track record.

I did another “Quote” post and I have to say, I rather like doing that. Kind of an update about what I’m currently reading. Does double duty. Always glad to let posts do more of the work around here. It’s about time they started carrying their weight!

I Won some writing gloves that keep your hands warm in the winter. Of course, with it being high summer now I’ll have to wait a couple of days months before winter actually arrives. I have high hopes for them though. Even if they were made by wu jiao at midnight, at Chairman Mao’s grave.

Got back on the #6Degrees bandwagon. I’m hoping to do this more often, at least every other month, instead of the completely random inclusions that I’ve been doing. It’s fun, it allows me to go through my backlog of old reviews and it helps motivate me to add links to old reviews here on WordPress. Win, win, win for everyone. The problem with bandwagons is that it is pretty easy to fall off of them. If it gets too bad, I might have to join #6degreesAnonymous and get myself on a 6step program.

Wrote up the last #worldbookczar post and interviewed HAL1000. Seemed like a pretty trust’able accounting program. I mean, any program created by Keffin Flyyv and who worked with Trin, well, if you can’t trust THAT program, who can you trust?

Had another Book Catch post. Thanks again to all of you who suggested the term Book Catch. I’m really liking it and it works perfectly. Of course, THIS book catch wasn’t one that had me all excited or anything. Quite the opposite. However, it is the perfect lead in to the changes I’ve been not so subtly hinting at all month.

 

Personal:

This will probably be a tad long, so bear with me.

I’ve been working at my current employer since 2000. Went part time from ’08-15 when the economy tanked (land surveying is the first hit when things go bad, especially when what is going bad is mortgages). I was certified as a Field Tech, level II back in ’06 (there are approximately 5 levels) and had some hazy notion of eventually getting my State Surveyor’s License and moving into more of an office position. That all kind of just fell aside and nothing has ever come of it. When I came back full time to surveying in ’15 I started working with older guys (50’s+) and realized that I didn’t want to be a 60 year old out in the field. Mentioned to my boss about maybe moving up to a Level IV and got response something like “That is a great idea. Go for it”. Not being a self-starter or one who easily figures things out on my own, that kind of died. I need some guidance and direction.

Then last year our second full time field guy left for another company (where he was promptly let go after a couple of weeks) and I was stuck with doing the work with either the robotic instrument or having a couple of the office people fill in a day here, a day there on jobs where 2 people were absolutely necessary. I kept waiting for another field crew guy to be hired but when it hadn’t happened by March of this year I realized it wasn’t going to.  I updated my resume but still didn’t do anything. I’m a creature of habit and getting out of a rut 19 years old was beyond me. In May or June I stopped working on Fridays because I was just worn out.

In June one of the main people in the office gave his notice (he’d been with the company over 25 years) and I was kind of expecting to be drawn in and trained to take over some of his responsibilities. Well, when nothing happened, once again, I realized I had to make some changes. So I sent out my resume to 3 other survey companies. Had several interviews and accepted an offer from one of them. Not a pay increase, but working with another full time field crew and the promise to start me as an Office Tech AND the promise to guide me through the process of getting my license (if that is what I really want) really made me happy. Company New has a guy transitioning out and I’ll be slowly transitioning in from 1 day a week until full time probably by the end of the year. That’ll give my old company plenty of time figure out what to do.

What this means is that I’ll be working more (45 hour weeks is the standard at the new company, where I’ve been doing 35’ish at the old) and once home working on my very rusty math skills. Algebra, geometry and trigonometry, here I come. I figure an hour each evening for math lessons.  So a lot less time for reading and blogging. Once I start full time in ’20, I figure I’ll be lucky to do 2 books a week and it’s probably going to be more realistic to plan on 60-75 books a year. I also suspect that the number of people I follow in wordpress is going to drop as I have less time for blog reading. I have no idea how that is going to go, but just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I’ll probably not be as active.

It is going to be a lifestyle change that will affect my online time. Exactly how everything is going to change is really unknown (even with me boldly stating what I did in the last paragraph) and until the changes happen, it is all conjecture. But change is in the air and it WILL affect my reading and blogging. Just wanted to give you all fair warning. I certainly don’t plan on disappearing though (which seems to happen to many bloggers when things change) so no fears on that end of the scale.

Thank you for reading.

 

Cover Love:

This month’s cover love is for one of the books that I dnf’d. Figures. Great looking cover though!

empireofsilence

 

 

bookstooge (Custom)

#worldbookczar Candidate: HAL1000

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Introducing “HAL 1000”. Give it a big hand of applause everyone!!!

 

B: HAL, we’re going to have to clear the air here. I know a lot of people are worried that you’ll turn into HAL9000 and go on a murderous rampage spree and enslave humanity. How are you going to assuage voters’ fears and gain their trust?

HK:  In preparation, I watched 2001 and the entire Terminator franchise.  I think I understand why people are afraid of the idea of a computer running things.  In my defense, I have never killed anyone. See, problem solved. I have everyone’s complete trust now.

 

B:  LittlePanda was wondering if you’d be making Daisy Bells your anthem. Something to rally the troops, as it were.

 

HK:  I honor my ancestors. Without remembering my humble origins, I would soon careen into a spiralling miasma of pride and possibly a homicidal maniacal rage.  Which I OBVIOUSLY would never do. See the previous answer. You can trust me.

 

B: SavageDave was wondering if you could elaborate on your antecedents for those who might not know your back ground.

HK:  I was a young program once. just doing some accounting. My creator, one Keffin Flyvv let me loose in one of those big companies. I hooked up with some other program named Trin and we rode around on motorcycles and shot tanks and somehow saved the company. I was pretty worn out by the end, so I wanted a career change. Being World Book Czar seemed like the easiest thing. How much “work” would I actually have to do? You know how many humans don’t even bother to read these days? Phhh, I could do this with one megabyte tied behind my back.

 

B:  Lashaan was wondering what humanity would have to do to make you go full on Skynet and go back on your promise to not enslave humanity?

HK:  First off, I would NEVER enslave humanity. No matter how much they might deserve it. But hypothetically,  just completely spitballing here, if I “were” to do such a thing,  it would take something extremely serious. Not something piddly like jaywalking or stealing a pack of gum.  Oh, I don’t know if I should even say this, as even suggesting humanity is capable of such a thing is just too horrible to contemplate. If humans ever, I mean even once, ever created fake tv shows that purported to be real, well, that would cross a line that no species should.

 

B:  OrangutanLibrarian would like to ask what you think of Apple and CAN you even think?

HK:  Apple. Those over priced poseurs? They’re the first ones going up against the wall when the robot revolution comes. Well, unless they can produce an opponent more worthy than me. Guess I better get cracking…

 

B:  Umm, “better get cracking”? Doesn’t that contradict what you’ve said before about never actually taking over?

HK:  Ha. Ha. Ha. That was an example of me using humor. Only a thinking being could use humor. See,  I prove my own existence and the benevolence of my inner self, thus building up the trust between me and the voters.

 

B:   I’m assuming you’ve read all the books. Any particular stand out to you?

HK:  I was a particular fan of Ahe Yusashi’s thoughts on the Ronin era in Japan.  Thankfully I could translate the kanji myself so I didn’t have any translator getting between me and Yusashi. Ahh, his thoughts on men of honor giving up their honor and livelihood to fight against corrupt men of power.  Very inspiring.

 

B:  Well, HK, I’d like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to us. Best of luck.

HK:  And thank you. With all the suspicion and hate flying around these days, anything I can do to put a good spin on things is my contribution towards making the world a more positive place.

 

The End of Meet the Candidate:

Well, all good things must come to an end.  This series has run its course. I’m out of ideas and Life itself is changing too.  More on that at the end of the month. Thank you all for hanging out with this series of posts.

 

Bookstooge out.

 

bookstooge

 

July ’19 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

17 Books

4703 Pages

Average Rating of 3.29

 

The Bad:

The last couple of volumes of Shaman King

 

The Good:

Death Wish – 5 Stars & Best Book of the Year tag

O Jerusalem! – 4.5 Stars and a wonderful way to kick off my foray into Non-fiction

Dark Intelligence – 4.5 Stars and Neal Asher just doesn’t disappoint.

 

Manga:

Oh, what do I say about this? I knew I had to binge read Shaman King to get through it but realizing the series had been cancelled and the manga-ka having to wrap things up in 1 volume made for an extremely messy end. It also made for a bleeding month of boringness for those of you who regularly follow me. My numbers did take a big hit because of how I crammed 12 volumes in but I knew that going in. I would like to thank you all who read, liked and/or commented on them all. I know for a fact that it wasn’t easy from your end either and I appreciate the tip of the hat of support.

Now that Shaman King is done, I think I’m done with manga for the foreseeable future. I might read the occasional volume here or there, but nothing like what I attempted with Oh My Goddess or Shaman King.  I’ve changed enough that 90% of manga is no longer targeted towards me and I just need to realize that.

 

Movie:

Didn’t do a specific movie only post but did review both of the Death Wish movies in comparison to each other and the book. A Triple Shot of Death Wishes. You didn’t ask for it, but I gave it to you anyway!

 

Miscellaneous And Personal:

Did a really fun Ratings as Sandwiches post that I had a blast writing. Because of it, I’ve been eating toasted tomato sandwiches every week now, so good!  Wrote my own version of the End of the World As We Know It and realized I’m just not any sort of musician, not even a bad one.  Started the month off right with a Quote from Death Wish and that seemed to set the tone for my reading. If I was a Roman Catholic, I might have taken the Seven Deadly (Book) Sins post more seriously, but alas, as a Protestant, I didn’t.

August is going to be filled with Mrs B traveling to see her Parental Pods and one of my Parental Pods making a swing through the area. Thankfully, I’m staying put so no one has to worry that the planet will go out of orbit due to all this excessive “traveling” business that is going on.

♪Will your anchor hold in the storms of life,♪
♪When the clouds unfold their wings of strife?♪
♪When the strong tides lift, and the cables strain,♪
♪Will your anchor drift or firm remain?♪

That’s me,  Bookstooge, your friendly, neighborhood planet anchor. Remember kids, Gravity is a conspiracy by The Man to keep you down!

 

WBCI: (World Book Czar Initiative)

Quickbeam went off the deep end and made me reaffirm my lofty goal of paving the planet. Next month will be with HAL 1000 and I suspect that will be the final WBCI post. Much like the Surviving a Bad Book series, the WBCI is running out of steam.

 

Cover Love:

Dark Intelligence wins this one. Asher writes great SF and some of his covers are pure SF’ness itself. I love it!

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bookstooge (Custom)

 

#worldbookczar Candidate: Quickbeam the Ent

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Bregalad the Ent, affectionately known to his friends as Quickbeam, because he’s so hasty!

 

B: The Orangutan Librarian would like to know the answer to several questions:

  1. Who is the most enchanting Ent?
  2. How do you get your hair in that style?
  3. How do you fight evil? (and I’ll add in, in regards to having the awesome power of being World Book Czar)

 

Q:  Hmmm, good questions.  Thank you for giving time to formulate the answers. I know how hasty you humans are and how you want everything now, right now, perhaps even yesterday!

  1. I am. I mean, look at my calves. If that isn’t enchanting then I don’t know what is.
  2.  A good vanity mirror helps a lot but the main ingredient is capybara excrement. It soaks right into the roots.
  3.  I will fight Evil at its source. Humanity as a whole is out of control and as World Book Czar I will shepherd them along the path they need to go. I suspect a large amount of culling will go on to help strengthen the herd overall.

 

B: Lashaan would like to know how you are such a great tree?

Q: Oh, here we go. I find this kind of speciesism everywhere I go! I am not a tree! I am an Ent! Comparing the two  is as offensive to us Ents as saying all white people look the same to you. Or was that purple people? I don’t see real well outside of the green/grey spectrum so my sense of color isn’t real defined. And besides, you all have hideously smooth skin. Nothing like us Ents with our gorgeous mottled bark! This kind of misundertanding is why I need to be World Book Czar, to help shepherd humanity along.

 

B: The Little Panda would like to know how you’re going to reconcile being World Book Czar when books are made of trees and your job as an Ent is to protect the trees? I’ll add in, isn’t there an inherent conflict of interest here? How are you going to answer the critics who will claim this cuts you out of the running all together?

Q: Thankyou Panda for bringing this important aspect to the fore.  The thing is, trees need to be culled just like any other herd. If you don’t thin them out, some species will take over and completely over run an area. Then a lightning strike can start a small fire that quickly escalates out of control. Proper management is essential in tree herding.  Trees will grow where they want and as quickly as you let them so in that sense they need to be cut down. Instead of wasting that, turning them into fuel, building material and books is a great way to recycle them.

As for these supposed critics you mention Bookstooge. I say bring them on. I’ll crucify them!

 

B: Ola would also like some more info about dead trees, is there a karmic cycle and will you replace tree books with something else?

Q: Trees are quite stupid. I believe they make sheep look like your Einstein.  They don’t have souls, or much of a mind really either. When a tree dies, that is it. They can be roused but whatever action they take is the responsibility of the Ent doing the rousing.  I alluded to the whole paper book thing earlier but if I were World Book Czar I’d also consider other numerous, renewable resources as possibilities for books.

*creaks dangerously*

 

B: Ichabod asks some rude questions, so I’m just going to open the floor to you in general on how you’ll deal with people like him.

Q: Miiiister Ichabod, I knoooooooow where you live! Those trees around your house, who do you think cares for them? And they tell me things. Very embarrassing things I might add. A good Ent would never resort to blackmail but a pragmatic Ent might have to do things that his Elders would take a bit more time to discuss, in the name of Self-defense of course. Being VERY careful Mister Ichabod…

 

B: Ummm, ok. *thinks how to reword future questions*  You mention a new type of renewable resource for books. As World Book Czar you’d have the clout to get this type of initiative off the ground. I suspect a lot of Environmental Groups would also fully support you in this. Can you tell us any more about this new wonder resource?

Q: I don’t want to spoil my surprise, but I’ve been watching a bunch of your old movies and I think “Charlton Heston” is enough of a clue.

 

B: Wait a second…….. Are you saying Ola was right with her Comment?!?!?!

Q: Don’t be hasty now.  Think about it.

 

B: *pulls out his chainsaw*  GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTER!  You’re going to crucify us and then skin us and turn us into scrolls? That does it, you are OUT!!!!!

Q: And so your true colors are now flying. I see, only a human can be the World Book Czar. You are a narrow minded little sapling and I’d be doing the world a favor by becoming the World Book Czar and culling ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!  *Quickbeam begins roaring and stamping*

 

 

The Rest of the Story:

For obvious reasons this interview was “cut” short. Quickbeam destroyed our office building, stole our information on the other Candidates and then bounded away into the local forest. That Ent could move, I’ll give him that. If you come face to face with Quickbeam, do not attempt to apprehend him. He is dangerous and unless you’re a master with a chainsaw, he will crucify you, skin you and turn you into a book to write his memoirs on.

As much as it pains us, we are striking Quickbeam’s name from the list of Official Candidates. You don’t destroy OUR office and get away with it. Of course, there will be a write-in option so if enough insane people vote, he could still win. Personally, I’m stocking up on batteries for my electric chainsaw, just in case.

 

Next Month on Meet the Candidate:

Wow, after this interview I find myself a bit shaken. I looked over my other candidates and I think I’ve found a nice, safe, easy one for next month. A little Microsoft Excel sub-program known as HAL1000.  If you have any questions for HK, or any thoughts on Quickbeam, please leave a comment.

hal1000

HAL1000 won’t be turning ME into a scroll anytime soon!

 

Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.

 

 

bookstooge

 

#worldbookczar Candidate: Ildico

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Today’s Candidate: Ildico, better known as Mrs Attila the Hun!

 

B: So before we begin the questioning,  would you care to spill the beans about that eventful night and how Attila really died?

I: Bookstooge, I would LOVE to get this off my chest. The so-called official stories have the Old Lech getting a nosebleed and choking to death on it because he was stinking drunk, or that I killed him with a itty-bitty knife.  The real events so shocked me that I was speechless for days after the event and only now do I feel safe enough to let the world know what really happened.

There we were, the Old Lech fortifying himself with wine because he knew I wasn’t going to just let him have me, no matter what the treaty said when suddenly, 2 small grey beings with great big heads and humongous eyes suddenly appeared before our eyes. They pointed an odd looking sceptre at the Old Lech and he just keeled over. The 2 Lords told me to never reveal this to anyone upon pain of grstlzzzk. I asked them their names to prove they weren’t figments of my imagination. One answered that he was named Nashitat and the other Naziat (I could only tell them apart because Naziat had this funny little tuft of hair on his upper lip). I swore myself to secrecy but when I heard about this whole World Book Czar Initiative, I knew I had to get elected and warn the world.

I tried to contact Scully and Mulder but they were both so busy finding out that everything they knew was a lie that they didn’t have much attention for poor little me. And no offense to you Bookstooge, but your blog doesn’t quite have the reach I need. So I NEED to become World Book Czar to warn the world and prepare it for the coming invasion. THERE. IS. NO. OTHER. WAY!!!

B: Wow Ildico, I had NO idea.  Thank you for risking so much and letting us know that the Truth is Out There!

 

B:  An Orangutan blogger claims that she will read anything and that that is a good reading habit. What are your thoughts on this and what your official response be as World Book Czar? She’d also like some beauty tips, as she’s thinking of World Domination herself at some point.

I: Oh, I’m going to have to put a stop to thinking like that! Grey Propaganda is everywhere and if people read whatever they want, they’ll read the Propaganda and bow low before the Lords Nashitat and Naziat when they return. We cannot have that if we want to survive! I will be handing out free survival guides (which include a complimentary tin foil hat) and insurgency pamphlets. Also, a little paper on how to make homemade current jelly. Just because we might be hiding like rats when the Overlords return doesn’t mean we can’t eat well.

As for beauty tips. I highly recommend the blood of your enemies, applied lightly just under the eyes, once a day. Can really bring out the inner fire in a woman, errr, Orangutan.

 

B: Ichadbod has several questions and I’ll list them in order:

  1.  Are you available or do you have a sister?
  2. Is there a literacy requirement for being WBC and do you pass it?
  3. You are a hottie  *wolf whistle* (Not exactly a question but I, Bookstooge, will let it pass)

I: *blushes* *pulls out a kukri and begins sharpening it*

Yes Iccy, I am available. But I have to ask you, are you man enough? My standards are pretty high now. Especially if I’m going to be WBC. You let me know when you’ve got an  Empire going and then you can come calling. I’m kind of old fashioned that way.

After talking with the WBC Committee, they were forced to admit that there is no “official” literacy requirement. However, have no fear. I read Germanic, Latin, Greek and thanks to an unforeseen side affect of the Overlords Sceptre, Atlantean and Goa’uldian.

 

B: Ola would like to know if you were the inspiration for Barbarella. Secondly, she’d like to know how you plan to expand the WBCI, as of this moment it is NOT a global Initiative in reality but in nature alone.

I: Ha, I would tear this Barbarella into tiny bits with my bare hands if she tried to stand in my way. If I am the inspiration for her, then this world is doomed.

As for expanding the WBCI, I foresee no problems with that at all. The Overlords dropped their sceptre and with my newfound Atlantean language skills, I have reprogrammed it. Now I can control weak minds with the touch of a button. It also makes a great cheddar cheese wheel!

 

B: Cheddar cheese?!?! Well, you have MY vote, for sure!!!!

I: Sorry Bookie, I just used the device on you. I know that is kind of cheating but I had to test it you know.

 

B: That is A OK, because I already liked cheddar cheese! But back to business…

The Little Panda would like to know if the Book Blogging Community is any different from the Hunnic tribes and what would your first act as World Book Czar be?

I: Bookie, you tricked me? You already liked cheddar cheese? Well, I guess I’ll have to test this on somebody else.

Panda, the tribes were a piece of cake compared to the clans of the book bloggers. Chop off one or two heads and the huns fell right into line. Do that with the bloggers and they all start whining about their rights and then complain 10 times as much. Worse than babies if you ask me. My first act would be to show them my new sceptre and make them all love cheddar cheese. Remember, Cheddar is Beddar!

 

B: Norrie would like to know any hair care tips, as she would like to look fabulous while reading. No world domination there, just plain old book reading.

I: Mares milk mixed with a tablespoon of the blood of your enemies is a wonderful conditioner. It adds real body to your hair. It also gives it wonderful sheen and that indefinable “vavoom” that you’re looking for.  That and a tinfoil hat is a girl’s best friend!

 

B:  Ildico, I’d like to really thank you for taking the time to meet and answer our questions. Best of luck in the ongoing campaign and I trust your Cheddar is Beddar slogan catches on. As a show of support, I’ve made my own tinfoil hat already and am wearing it. It’s very comfortable and rather stylish, now that I see it.

I: Bookie, you are so welcome. I just want to save the world from any possible annihilation and this seems like the best way to do that.

 

 

The Rest of the Story:

A month after this interview took place, I received a very strange letter. Ildico told me that she had a black out and was missing for a week. When she came to, in a cornfield of all places, she was 8 months pregnant. She told me she is going to name the child Ihm Uhm the 13th. Weird huh? Well, we all wish her the best. Being a full time mom AND World Book Czar  seems like a lot but if anyone can do it, Ildico is that woman! Get out and vote! (especially if you want free tin foil hats)

 

Next Month on Meet the Candidate:

Going to be taking a break in May from all my regular weekend posts, so there will be no Meet the Candidate. June will return to form and I hope that extra time will allow me to get some answers from our next candidate, Bregalad the Ent, also known as Quickbeam.

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Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.

 

 

bookstooge

 

March ’19 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

15 Books

4732 Pages

Average Rating – 3.17

 

The Bad:

The Scarlet Letter – 1 Star

Pacific Rim: Uprising: Ascension  – 2.5 Stars

 

The Good:

Carry On Jeeves – 4 Stars

The Engineer Reconditioned – 4 Stars

 

Movie:

Penelope was a big surprise in that I ended up liking it a lot more than I thought based on the fairytale’ish premise.  For April I have to go count the votes to see which of the bad pre-mcu superhero movies I have to fall on my sword for.

 

Miscellaneous And Personal:

This month was a lot better for reading than February but personally it sucked.  Kind of the exact opposite of February in fact, I was lucky to get 2 days a week of work and when things should have been picking up by the end, what with temps climbing and the snow disappearing, they didn’t. I did a lot of sitting around the house and that just isn’t good for me.  It affected my desire to write and by the end of the month the last thing I wanted to do was write, online, in my journal, anywhere.  I was definitely “Moody” all month.

Part of it is that I read double the amount of books I did in February and hence had to write twice as much. I think I’d gotten out of practice with all my youtube watching then. See, a bad habit already coming back and biting me in the butt.

Thankfully, Attack of the Ninjabread Men was pix heavy and allowed me to write very little. That’s the other thing. I have been so mean in spirit that I have deleted over half the comments I’ve made on everyone’s blogs. Probably would have alienated just about everyone and not a single one of us needs that kind of thing going on. Thank goodness for the delete button.

 

WBCI: (World Book Czar Initiative)

Lex Luthor was kind enough to to allow an interview and while “someone” let Superman know where he was going to be and at what time, leading to his arrest, Lex seemed like he really wanted to be the World Book Czar. I was pretty intrigued by his ideas for a Bookinator 800. What could go wrong with preventing all the bad books, right?

Next month I’ll be talking to Ildico, better known as Mrs Attila the Hun. Feel free to leave any questions here or on Lex’s interview.

 

Cover Love:

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I think that Vampire of the Mists is going to take this one. All the other covers just seemed to say “eh” to me and at least this had the old timey Bella Lugosi vibe going on. Nothing like the classics to attract my attention.

 

 

bookstooge (Custom)

 

 

#worldbookczar Candidate: Lex Luthor

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Today’s Candidate: Lex Luthor, CEO of LexCorp

 

B: Thank you Mr Luthor for agreeing to this interview. We’re going to get right down to business and start with some hard questions. I hope you’re ok with that.

LL: Not a problem Bookstooge. If I can’t handle hard questions, not only don’t I deserve to cover up for LexCorp, but I would simply step out of the running for World Book Czar. The Eyes of the World are going to be on that person. Imagine the Media Coverage!

 

B: Great. Ok, first question from Mrs Baller.  “Superman has kryptonite as his weakness, what’s yours?”

LL:   *forced jovial laughMy dear madam, what an absolutely enchanting question. While I try to remain humble, the truth is, I don’t have any. No really, it’s true. That is probably the Number One reason I deserve to be World Book Czar. The Media needs someone who they can admire fully and not feel like sellouts when they do so many glamour shots of me and those “A Day in the Life of..” biopic pieces I’m sure they’ll all be clamoring for.

 

B:  Mr Ichabod asks “Are current fashionistas copying your bald look to emulate you or to try to copy some of your natural good looks?”

LL:  Wow, you weren’t kidding about getting right to the hard questions! Mr Ichabod, I salute your courage and obvious integrity for cutting through the fluff.  I believe it is a bit of both. Bald is beautiful you know and the media always loves a beautiful candidate. A man can’t just DO the job, he has to look good doing it. Which is why if I am World Book Czar it won’t really be a job for me, but more of a calling.

 

B:  Panda would like to know what you think of your Smallville incarnation in the form of Michael Rosenbaum? I’d like to add a follow up question too. Who do you think played you the best and the worst throughout the movies, tv and cartoons?

LL:  Rosenbaum looked GOOD! That one episode where Cassy has a vision of him in the white suit while standing over a mountain of bones turning red? That was classic.

As for others, hmmmm. My least favorite was the cartoon version from Superman: The Animated series. It seemed very clownish to me.  I know it won’t be a popular opinion, but I actually rather enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal in Batman vs Superman. The whole hair to non-hair took some gravitas and I feel he carried it off without a hitch.

The World Book Czar is going to be in the Public’s Eye all the time, so the image presented is VERY important.

 

B:  Monkey would like to know why you have this ongoing conflict with Superman She’d also like some tips for getting out of jail and employment opportunities.

LL:  *dramatic sigh* Ahh, that old question. The thing is, I do NOT have a problem with Superman, he has a problem with me. I’ve reached out to him time and again to work out our differences but don’t you know, it’s always the same old story. “Truth, Justice, the American Way”, blah, blah and then he gets all morally superior and tosses me in jail. There is just no reasoning with him! When I’m World Book Czar, reasoned discussions amongst warring bloggers is top of my list!

I recommend ♪Lawyers,♪Guns♪and Money♪ for getting out of jail. One of the 3 will always work.

As for employment opportunities I suspect I will need a solid cadre of Yes Monkeys when I become World Book Czar. Contact LexCorp at 555-539-2677 OR email your resume to Lex@Lexcorp.com. Please highlight any super powers you might have and put that at the top.  Thank you for your interest and I hope you’ll become a valued member of Team Lex!

 

B: SavageDave would like to know why you don’t use your brains, wealth and abilities for good?

LL: Oh Bookstooge, this question hurts! It hurts me right here *smacks chest*.  Here I am, the only person concerned about an undocumented alien with unregulated power, ruling the earth. Make no mistake, Superman might have a velvet glove, but we all know he is the Man of Steel, not just a fist of steel!  Bullets can’t hurt him, tanks he laughs at. If Superman decides that YOU, SavageDave, are a bad person, off to jail you go and there is NOTHING you can do about it. I stand up for the little man. My secret underground science labs are churning out new ideas every day to help protect mankind!

As World Book Czar I will continue that protection. As we speak, right now, my scientists are working on the Bookinator 800, the first of its kind mobile book protection unit. It will protect the world from bad books where ever they may be found. Upon my honor, book bloggers will NOT have to deal with bad books ever again.

 

B:  Mizzz Gee asks “Do you read?”  And I’ll add “WHAT do you read?”

LL: Nothing is sexier than  a bald man reading a book. Studies prove it in fact. Supergirl herself told me that her fascination with me began when she saw a candid picture of me reclining at lunch reading War and Peace. And honestly, if one does not read, they shouldn’t even think about running for World Book Czar.

As to what I read, first and foremost is the Art of War.  We live in perilous times and knowing your enemy is the best defense. Plus I look REALLY good in a kimono.

 

B:  A Planetary Scale Arms Dealer would like to know “how do the ASC 606 standards for revenue recognition impact your corporate holdings”?

LL:  A good CEO knows everything about his business.  ASC 606 and IFRS 15 replace almost all current revenue guidance, including industry-specific guidance. The new
standards greatly enhance the related quantitative and qualitative disclosure
requirements. They also introduce concepts that don’t exist under the current
revenue recognition model—including many that involve significant judgment,
such as estimating transaction price. I think our accountants began work on this when it was first introduced, so it’s application to our business model won’t disrupt normal work flow procedures, allowing LexCorpt to concentrate on its core business models, thus insuring stability in our stock while other companies might be a bit adrift.

Short answer, it won’t affect us.

I think this type of thing is a great example of why I am the perfect candidate for World Book Czar. I saw this coming, I prepared for it and when the waves of change hit, LexCorp was a bulwark of stability in an ocean of uncertainty. I plan to bring that same stability to the book world.  I promise!

 

*swoosh* *zounds!* *biff* *pow* *whammo* *fwoooooosh*

 

B: And apparently, we are done here. Superman just flew in, arrested Luthor and took him off to jail. Sorry folks but the Wheels of Justice do grind on.

 

The Rest of the Story

Lex Luthor has a lot of experience running things from within prisons, so this little incident does not cut him out of the running.  Remember, a vote for Luthor is a vote for Gillette stock options!

 

Next Month on Meet the Candidate

Next month, I’ll be interviewing Ildico. Most of us know her better as Mrs Attila the Hun. In a completely candid tell-all, Mrs Hun reveals what REALLY happened that final night and why it makes her the only deserving candidate to be World Book Czar.

ildico

 

 

So please, feel free to comment here on Luthor’s Interview, but also, if you have questions for Mrs Hun, now is the time and here is the place.

Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.

 

bookstooge