[Repost] My Review Policy

“It seems that you’ve been living two lives. One life, you’re Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you… help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias “Neo” and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.”

Agent Smith to Neo
~ The Matrix

Your book does not have a future in the Bookstooge world. So take that blue pill and wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe about your book, because if you took the red pill, I’d rip your book to shreds and make you wish you’d never entered Wonderland. So for your sake, there is no red pill.

While the above might seem a bit harsh, especially considering that I follow several authors and some authors follow me, I have found that a scorched earth policy is the best policy. The one time I didn’t adhere to this rule it turned out just as bad as I feared.

My REAL Promise To You

Mr Bojangles. THE Tap Dancer!

This first paragraph is going to be me tapdancing and covering all my bases so I don’t hurt anyone’s feelingz. Because I hold feelingz in as high regard as anyone. In fact, My middle names is Feelingz. Bookstooge Feelingz Kickyourassrightnowsosuckitscumbag. (yeah, makes filling out paperwork a real bear!) So, let the tapdancing begin. This post was not written with anyone but myself in mind. I am not applying this to post to anyone but myself. I am not applying this post to other bloggers or trying to tell anyone else how to run their blog. This post is to tell you how I run my blog. Period. Ok, stop the music Vincent, I’m done dancing.

Dr Phibes knows how to have a good time

I went Dotcom in January to get rid of the ads and the damned “native sponsored” posts by WordPress, posts inserted into free wordpress blogs that are just gigantic ads you can’t do anything about. I didn’t want anyone following me to be subjected to seeing such things on my site. So I paid and went to dotcom. Hopefully, now if you ever visit my site you will not see ads of any kind. That is why I went dotcom.

I did not go dotcom to make money in any way, shape or form. I am not a part of WordPress’s Adsense Program. I do not use affiliate links for any products I review. I do not have any sort of donation widget setup. I am not writing this to say that that makes me a “better” blogger than anybody else.

No it isn’t. Which is why I don’t pimp my blog

I blog because I have to write but I do not want to be an author. I’ll leave that tortured lifestyle to those that want it. Me, I just want to blab and have some fun with people. So my promise is that you’ll never be used by me to collect money for myself. That is what my job is for.

Outstanding Blogger Award 2021

(Thanks to Cupcakes&Machetes for nominating me. Nothing I say below reflects on her in ANY way.)

The Rules

  1. Provide the link to the creator’s original award post. (very important: see why in step 5)
  2. Answer the questions provided.
  3. Create 7 unique questions.
  4. Nominate 10 bloggers. Ensure that they are aware of their nomination. Neither the award’s creator, nor the blogger that nominated you, can be nominated.
  5. At the end of 2029, every blog that ping-backs the creator’s original post will be entered to win the 2029 Outstanding Blogger Award! And everyone else can wallow in being a total loser.

Gosh, The Bookstooge is just so, like, you know, totally honored?!? * swoon * When The Bookstooge was a little boy in elementary school and everybody else was saying they wanted to be nurses, or firemen or astronauts, The Bookstooge wanted to be an Outstanding Blogger. Never mind that the internet as we know it didn’t exist and blogs sure as shooting didn’t exist, The Bookstooge knew what he wanted and I had a Dream!

So today is the proudest day of The Bookstooge’s life. My Dream realized and my very life justified. Some random stranger made up a popularity contest and by mere chance The Bookstooge was selected. * cries into hankee * The Bookstooge would like to thank nobody but myself, as the Academy has done squat all for me and my dream.

Second, those “Rules”. What is with bloggers acting like little Castro’s every time they vomit up another meme/tag/award? You are nobody and nobody cares about you, or your flipping rules and adding “important” reminds me of a 3 year old saying “and this is vewy importnt!” Stop trying to micromanage how I do posts on my own blog. Needless to say, I am ignoring Das Rulez. I mean, The Bookstooge is doing all of that, not me.

With all the crankiness and vitriol now out of my system, I can actually begin this post. Aye yi yi!

Would you rather travel to the deep sea or outer space?

Outer space. My couch is not designed for underwater excursions.

Are you artistic?

100%!!!! You should have seen the stick figure drawings I did in Bibleschool. Van Gogh would have cut off his other ear in pure jealously if he was still alive.

How many books did you read last year?

156. I could have easily read at least 10x that amount, but Certain Movie Blogs I follow are always tempting me down the path of movieness. Shame, shame, shame!

If you could live any one historical figures life, which would you choose?

Which? Are people now things? Is someone’s life more important than the person themselves? WHO I would choose is George Washington. Then, because Washington was a Free Mason (and we know they hold all the secrets of everything), I would time travel to now and lead a Second American Revolution. I’d have my portrait painted of me standing on a tank that was crossing the Delaware. Snazzy, eh?

Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter?

Definitely Fall. I like the air to be cool enough that I need a light jacket to keep my body heat in but not cold enough to need a hat.

Which character in a book would you most like to be?

Captain Wentworth from Persuasion maybe? While I enjoy reading ABOUT the characters in my SFF books, I would not want to experience what they deal with. Wentworth at least, I think I could deal with the situations Austen puts him in.

Since I have done this, I am now an Outstanding Blogger. Shower me with adulation and gifts (preferably cash) and I might deign to notice your pitiful existence!

Dr Lord Bookstooge Has Been Subsumed

Yes, this sad day has finally arrived. Dr Lord Bookstooge is no more. After #wordpress.com began Whoring Us Out, I’m sure you all realized this day would come too. I also realize it has been a mere 10 days since I wrote about it and maybe I’m over reacting. In that 10 days, I’ve seen more of the damnably evil “native sponsored posts” on active users blogs and I don’t want that on my site, period. I will do what I think is necessary to prevent that. Hence this post giving you all the heads up.

I have gone Dotcom. In my defense, I did use the promo code “FLASH50INSTANT” at checkout so I saved 50% for this year. I don’t know how long that code will last but I am thankful it worked for me. I have been using free blogs (blogspot since ’05 and wordpress since ’13) for years but the cost of free has become too high for me.

This is exactly the outcome WP had in mind when they started those NSP’s and it makes me feel dirty, used and manipulated to do this. But the other choice was to stop blogging. I don’t have the “oomph” to fight the fight of blogging on dotorg and as I’ve mentioned before, I like the security and comfort of the ecosystem here at WPdotcom. So here my butt remains. Plus, my Blogging Project has pretty much nailed me down here.

To commemorate this momentous occasion, not to qualify that with a rejoicing or crying, I have put away such childish names as Doctor and Lord. Today, before your amazed eyes, of which you can tell your children and grandchildren about, The Bookstooge was reborn!

if you notice anything hinky, let me know. The Incredible Bookstooge (you won’t like me when I’m angry) doesn’t like hinky and wants it dealt with promptly. Thanks.