Because I am a responsible adult who goes to work every day on time, pays my bills each month, has a mortgage and generally am a productive member of my society, I have been told I am innately angry and am the source of all problems here in the United States. Since I’m apparently SO angry, I’m going Full On Hulk Mode on this poor Tag. That will show everyone!
Thank you OrangutanLibrarian for giving me this outlet to vent my out of control rage that threatens to destroy my whole country. A grateful world thanks you!
Received an ARC and not reviewed it
Netgalley is EVIL. Because while the “words” might say you can review and rate however you want, we ALL know if you don’t review enough or positively enough, you’re going to get rejected. R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D-!-!-! For whiny pants mommas’ babies, nothing is worse than rejection.
I, on the other hand, HAVE reviewed every book I read from Netgalley. But once they used a part of a review of mine, I stopped using them. My reviews are mine, not theirs.
Have less than 60% feedback rating on Netgalley
Pretty much the same answer as above. But honestly, what kind of person doesn’t have enough self-control to NOT request more books when they still haven’t read OR reviewed previous requests? You got it, whiny pants mommas’ babies!
Rated a book on
Goodreads Devilreads and promised a full review was to come on your blog (and never did)
A man’s word is his bond. If someone can’t back their word up, they need to shut their piehole instead of deceiving and disappointing everyone who follows them. My only currency I have with online people is what I earn, or squander, relationally. Somebody makes a promise and then doesn’t keep it? They just overdrew on the Bank of Bookstooge and Lenny the Goon is going to come for them and break their knee caps!
Folded down the page of a book
I have done this. Usually when I’ve lost my bookmark at work. Kind of hard to use a twig as a bookmark in the woods. At home, never. There are always bookmark materials around, I just have to not be a lazy git and get off my butt to get one. Maybe nancy-pants mommas boys are too lazy, but that is why they are still boys.
Accidentally spilled on a book
This one, I have to confess, I have and I am so ashamed. I took a LIBRARY paperback book to work and put it in my book bag along with a thermos of iced water. The thermos top came off and soaked the entire book bag and all its contents, including the book. When I dried it out, it fluffed up to about twice its original size. I had to pay for a new book at the library. On top of that, it was an INTER-LIBRARY LOAN!!! Oh the mortification I felt that day. It has left a stain upon my very soul.
DNF a book this year
Of course! If someone isn’t dnf’ing books during the year, they’re either lying to themselves or putting up with sub-par drek because they don’t have a spine! I happen to have a spine and my drekometer is getting more and sensitive as the years go by.
Bought a book purely because it was pretty with no intention of reading it
This is called buying a piece of art. Instead of being a dumbass, do the tiny bit of work necessary to find out who DREW that cover and then go buy a reproduction of it and hang it on the wall. Support the artist, make a lonely wall look nice and spare the bookcase from having to support dumb-asseryness.
Read whilst you were meant to be doing something else (like homework)
Back in MY DAY, my parents made me do my homework at the kitchen table just so I couldn’t goof off. None of this “working in your room” nonsense. If someone can’t be bothered to buckle down and do whatever they are supposed to be doing at the moment, good luck keeping your job and getting a mortgage. Then they get to live in a place run by a slumlord where rats and bedbugs abound! And all because they read when they weren’t supposed to. Let that be a lesson to everyone.
Skim read a book
Some authors don’t know when to shut the phrack up and get on with the supposed plot. Or the author is geeking out about Subject G (for Guns, for example) and like a 2 year old, expects everyone else to pay attention to THEIR interests. Well, nancy pants whiny ass author-san, I don’t CARE. Get a move on!!!
Completely missed your
Goodreads Devilreads goal
While Netgalley might be evil, Devilreads is the devil incarnate. Devilreads sacrifices babies on little tiny altars every month. Devilreads believes that anyone who doesn’t fall right into their party line loves Hitler. Devilreads steals food from the mouths of hungry aboriginals from the Rain Forests. Devilreads puts lead into milk formula in China. I think you get the picture.
Borrowed a book and not returned it to the library
That is STEALING!!! Every single responsible adult in the town/borough/whatever helped pay for that book with their taxes. Money doesn’t grow on magic money trees. It is created when someone works their backside off.
So if anyone EVER admitted to stealing a library book, I’ve got a dull spoon JUST FOR THEM!
Broke a book buying ban
I’ve never had to institute a book buying ban. Because things like my mortgage, taxes, etc come first. Oh yeah, that little thing known as the grocery bill too. Huh, go figure. I don’t have a magic refrigerator or a magic pantry that “magically” refill themselves. So I buy books when I can afford them. It is called being fiscally responsible. The lack of being fiscally responsible is what did Greece in and will eventually do the United States in. But I won’t be a contributor to that downfall.
Started a review, left it for ages then forgot what the book was about
Once or twice. Which is why I now write my reviews within 3-5 days finishing the book. Otherwise, why did I read it?
Wrote in a book you were reading
This is complicated. I am not an advocate of writing in books in general. However, there are times and there are books where it is the whole reason.
When Mrs B and I were courting we read a duology of books called “Just for Women” and “Just for Men”. We read the appropriate one for us and marked the heck out of the book. Questions, comments, thoughts, etc. Then we traded books and read the other book with an eye towards answering all the writings by the other. It made for a very good time and helped us learn a lot about the other gender that we simply had no idea about.
Finished a book and not added it to your
I don’t use Devilreads but when I use similar services I always add the book to my collection. What’s the point otherwise? I know why people do it, because they’re shallow, vain, self-centered gits who can’t do ANYTHING without wondering what others think of them. But I read and review for myself so I want to be as honest as I can in a public forum.
Borrowed a book and not returned it to a friend
Yes, when I was 10 I borrowed one of the Little House on the Prairie books from my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Rick. They lived 6+ hrs away at the time and never saw that book again as far as I know. I can’t look them in the eye to this very day 😉
Dodged someone asking if they can borrow a book
“No”. Say it with me now. “No”. See, it’s not that hard. If someone asks to borrow a book, a simple “no” suffices. Lilly-livered pansy-panted wussy cowards are the ones who dodge.
Broke the spine of someone else’s book
If I did that, I would buy them a new book. I wouldn’t walk up to a friend and break THEIR back, now would I? (that WAS a rhetorical question by the way) So why would I feel it was ok to do the same to their books? What kind of monster inspired a question like this? Howza ’bout I come over and smash somebody’s car window? Huh, huh? That’s what I’d do to anyone who broke the spine on one of my books.
Took the jacket off a book to protect it and ended up making it more damaged
I JUST did this. I was reading Hogfather at work and kept the book in my bookbag (no thermos’s this time) and wanted the jacket off so it wouldn’t get torn. Well, I put it on my end table ……. and promptly put a full plate of food on it that night. The cover was as crushed as my dreams for being World Book Czar
Sat on a book accidentally
I do this quite often to my physical books. I’ll put it down on the seat of the van at lunch and then sit on it at the end of the day when we’re heading back. Thankfully, I NEVER leave a book open so I have not damaged a book by sitting on it. Chances are my bum takes more damage than the book.
Well, 9 out of 20 checkmarks means I am on the Good List. The World is safe. My Rage has Manifested and now I can go back to being mild mannered Bruce Banner.