RAGE AGAINST THE WHINY PANTS MOMMAS BABIES!! – errrr, The Naughty or Nice Tag

Because I am a responsible adult who goes to work every day on time, pays my bills each month, has a mortgage and generally am a productive member of my society, I have been told I am innately angry and am the source of all problems here in the United States.  Since I’m apparently SO angry, I’m going Full On Hulk Mode on this poor Tag. That will show everyone!

Thank you OrangutanLibrarian for giving me this outlet to vent my out of control rage that threatens to destroy my whole country. A grateful world thanks you!

 

Received an ARC and not reviewed it 

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Netgalley is EVIL. Because while the “words” might say you can review and rate however you want, we ALL know if you don’t review enough or positively enough, you’re going to get rejected. R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D-!-!-!  For whiny pants mommas’ babies, nothing is worse than rejection.

I, on the other hand, HAVE reviewed every book I read from Netgalley. But once they used a part of a review of mine, I stopped using them. My reviews are mine, not theirs.

 

Have less than 60% feedback rating on Netgalley 

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Pretty much the same answer as above. But honestly, what kind of person doesn’t have enough self-control to NOT request more books when they still haven’t read OR reviewed previous requests? You got it, whiny pants mommas’ babies!

 

Rated a book on Goodreads Devilreads and promised a full review was to come on your blog (and never did) 

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A man’s word is his bond. If someone can’t back their word up, they need to shut their piehole instead of deceiving and disappointing everyone who follows them. My only currency I have with online people is what I earn, or squander, relationally.  Somebody makes a promise and then doesn’t keep it? They just overdrew on the Bank of Bookstooge and Lenny the Goon is going to come for them and break their knee caps!

 

Folded down the page of a book 

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I have done this. Usually when I’ve lost my bookmark at work. Kind of hard to use a twig as a bookmark in the woods. At home, never. There are always bookmark materials around, I just have to not be a lazy git and get off my butt to get one.  Maybe nancy-pants mommas boys are too lazy, but that is why they are still boys.

 

Accidentally spilled on a book 

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This one, I have to confess, I have and I am so ashamed. I took a LIBRARY paperback book to work and put it in my book bag along with a thermos of iced water. The thermos top came off and soaked the entire book bag and all its contents, including the book. When I dried it out, it fluffed up to about twice its original size. I had to pay for a new book at the library. On top of that, it was an INTER-LIBRARY LOAN!!! Oh the mortification I felt that day. It has left a stain upon my very soul.

 

DNF a book this year 

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Of course! If someone isn’t dnf’ing books during the year, they’re either lying to themselves or putting up with sub-par drek because they don’t have a spine! I happen to have a spine and my drekometer is getting more and sensitive as the years go by.

 

Bought a book purely because it was pretty with no intention of reading it

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This is called buying a piece of art. Instead of being a dumbass, do the tiny bit of work necessary to find out who DREW that cover and then go buy a reproduction of it and hang it on the wall.  Support the artist, make a lonely wall look nice and spare the bookcase from having to support dumb-asseryness.

 

Read whilst you were meant to be doing something else (like homework)

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Back in MY DAY, my parents made me do my homework at the kitchen table just so I couldn’t goof off. None of this “working in your room” nonsense.  If someone can’t be bothered to buckle down and do whatever they are supposed to be doing at the moment, good luck keeping your job and getting a mortgage.  Then they get to live in a place run by a slumlord where rats and bedbugs abound! And all because they read when they weren’t supposed to. Let that be a lesson to everyone.

 

Skim read a book 

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Some authors don’t know when to shut the phrack up and get on with the supposed plot. Or the author is geeking out about Subject G (for Guns, for example) and like a 2 year old, expects everyone else to pay attention to THEIR interests.  Well, nancy pants whiny ass author-san, I don’t CARE. Get a move on!!!

 

Completely missed your Goodreads Devilreads goal

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While Netgalley might be evil, Devilreads is the devil incarnate. Devilreads sacrifices babies on little tiny altars every month. Devilreads believes that anyone who doesn’t fall right into their party line loves Hitler. Devilreads steals food from the mouths of hungry aboriginals from the Rain Forests. Devilreads puts lead into milk formula in China. I think you get the picture.

 

Borrowed a book and not returned it to the library

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That is STEALING!!! Every single responsible adult in the town/borough/whatever helped pay for that book with their taxes. Money doesn’t grow on magic money trees. It is created when someone works their backside off.

So if anyone EVER admitted to stealing a library book, I’ve got a dull spoon JUST FOR THEM!

 

Broke a book buying ban

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I’ve never had to institute a book buying ban. Because things like my mortgage, taxes, etc come first. Oh yeah, that little thing known as the grocery bill too. Huh, go figure.  I don’t have a magic refrigerator or a magic pantry that “magically” refill themselves.  So I buy books when I can afford them.  It is called being fiscally responsible. The lack of being fiscally responsible is what did Greece in and will eventually do the United States in.  But I won’t be a contributor to that downfall.

 

Started a review, left it for ages then forgot what the book was about

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Once or twice. Which is why I now write my reviews within 3-5 days finishing the book. Otherwise, why did I read it?

 

Wrote in a book you were reading 

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This is complicated. I am not an advocate of writing in books in general. However, there are times and there are books where it is the whole reason.

When Mrs B and I were courting we read a duology of books called “Just for Women” and “Just for Men”. We read the appropriate one for us and marked the heck out of the book. Questions, comments, thoughts, etc. Then we traded books and read the other book with an eye towards answering all the writings by the other. It made for a very good time and helped us learn a lot about the other gender that we simply had no idea about.

 

Finished a book and not added it to your Goodreads Devilreads

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I don’t use Devilreads but when I use similar services I always add the book to my collection.  What’s the point otherwise? I know why people do it, because they’re shallow, vain, self-centered gits who can’t do ANYTHING without wondering what others think of them. But I read and review for myself so I want to be as honest as I can in a public forum.

 

Borrowed a book and not returned it to a friend

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Yes, when I was 10 I borrowed one of the Little House on the Prairie books from my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Rick. They lived 6+ hrs away at the time and never saw that book again as far as I know. I can’t look them in the eye to this very day 😉

 

Dodged someone asking if they can borrow a book

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“No”. Say it with me now. “No”. See, it’s not that hard. If someone asks to borrow a book, a simple “no” suffices.  Lilly-livered pansy-panted wussy cowards are the ones who dodge.

 

Broke the spine of someone else’s book

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If I did that, I would buy them a new book. I wouldn’t walk up to a friend and break THEIR back, now would I? (that WAS a rhetorical question by the way) So why would I feel it was ok to do the same to their books?  What kind of monster inspired a question like this?  Howza ’bout I come over and smash somebody’s car window? Huh, huh? That’s what I’d do to anyone who broke the spine on one of my books.

 

Took the jacket off a book to protect it and ended up making it more damaged

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I JUST did this. I was reading Hogfather at work and kept the book in my bookbag (no thermos’s this time) and wanted the jacket off so it wouldn’t get torn. Well, I put it on my end table ……. and promptly put a full plate of food on it that night. The cover was as crushed as my dreams for being World Book Czar

 

Sat on a book accidentally 

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I do this quite often to my physical books. I’ll put it down on the seat of the van at lunch and then sit on it at the end of the day when we’re heading back. Thankfully, I NEVER leave a book open so I have not damaged a book by sitting on it. Chances are my bum takes more damage than the book.

 

 

Well, 9 out of 20 checkmarks means I am on the Good List. The World is safe. My Rage has Manifested and now I can go back to being mild mannered Bruce Banner.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

 

 

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To Sell or Not To Sell, That Is the MAGIC Question!

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If you didn’t know, I play a card game called Magic the Gathering. I started playing it back in the early to mid-90’s and then pretty much stopped for about 20 years. A former co-worker got me back into it and now I’m back in. A very casual player mind you. I play what is called Kitchen Table Magic, ie, just sitting around playing when I get a chance with a friend or two. I don’t do tournaments or anything competitive.

The thing with Magic is that not only is it a game, it is also a Collectible card game. This means that not all the cards have the same quantity being released during each set, so the more powerful a card is and the rarer it is, the more money people are willing to pay for it.

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The company that produces Magic, Wizards of the Coast (WOTC), also sells specialty boxes of reprints so that certain cards don’t get too out of control.  Most cards from 2003 and on have a decent chance of getting reprinted if they run above $100 or become super popular due to being used in a winning deck by one of the pro’s.  These reprint boxes have a limited supply run but WOTC tends to print things into the ground ever since they were bought out by Hasbro. So “limited” tends to mean they won’t just keep on printing that particular set for a year.  11 months and 30 days, but NOT a full year, thus garnering that feared “limited” title.

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I’ve been buying some of these specialty boxes since 2015 with an eye to either opening them and getting some of those expensive cards for myself or to resell the boxes once the price starts to rise. I paid under $200 for each of those 3 boxes when they came out. Now, all 3 are selling for around $300 or so on Ebay.  The problem is that a LOT of other people all think the same way I did, plus some scum (who’ll I’ll call magic investors) who buy these things up by the hundreds to induce scarcity, thus raising the price and then said scum sell for a quick profit. So Ebay tends to be flooded with a LOT of options. Realistically speaking, there isn’t much selling going on at that price point.

I’ve tried to sell on Craigslist, but once prices go above the $150 mark, most things don’t sell real well there. People are leery of dealing with cash and meeting up and all that stuff. I don’t blame them, but still, it is discouraging.

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My question thus is this:

1 ) Do I list my 3 boxes separately on Ebay starting at 99cents, to avoid the insertion fee and hope the bidding goes up high enough to make me a profit AND to cover Ebay’s final sale fee (usually 10-15 percent, yeah, that much)

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Modern Masters 2015

 

2 ) Open the boxes and hope I get the cards I want (I have REALLY bad luck in this regard. Almost all boxes I’ve opened through the years have not done me good) and a few foil money cards I can sell individually so as to not lose too much money

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Modern Masters 2017

 

3 ) OR keep sitting on these boxes?

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Eternal Masters

 

This has all been brought to a head by the final Masters Set being released this Friday. Even though the average price for a box is running around $290, it has been selling like gangbusters in a speakeasy with Elliot Ness & his Untouchables knocking the doors down with their specialty sledgehammers. In other words, on Ebay, 1 seller sold upwards of 4000 boxes in a matter of hours. A lot of the cards in the Ultimate Masters box are also available in these 3 boxes. Which means that the price of the boxes I own might start dropping as the high priced cards in them start dropping in value.

This type of situation is exactly why I am a land survey tech and not an investment consultant.

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Ok, all good now. Just needed to write and do a little venting to get that off my chest. Cheerio…

bookstooge (Custom)

PSA: The Oxford Comma – An Abomination Before Bookstooge

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The Oxford Comma, the Oxford comma, and the oxford comma. Oh where to begin on this horrible travesty that has infested the purity of English grammar?

First off, a small grammar lesson so you know WHAT the oxford comma is, just in case you weren’t aware of this filthy betrayal.  When writing a list of 3 or more items, you put a comma between items and then an “and” between the final items. Example:  Bookstooge loves alcohol, cigarettes and pork.  The disgusting perps who use the oxford comma would write that sentence as thus: Bookstooge loves alcohol, cigarettes, and pork.

The communists who love this abomination will trot out example after example of why the oxford comma is so superior. Here are a couple of funny cartoons to show their propaganda.

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Now why would I have a problem with making something more clear and easy to understand? BECAUSE THERE ARE ALREADY GRAMMAR RULES DEALING WITH THIS ISSUE AND IT ENCOURAGES LAZY AND BAD WRITING.

 

If you can not communicate clearly what you are trying to get across and need an extra comma, then you are a terrible writer and I’m going to guess a pretty bad person too. The reason it frustrates me so much is because all it takes is a little bit of grammar skill to avoid such “pitfalls” as the Oxford Comma Collaborators put forth. It encourages bad, sloppy and lazy writing and dumbs down the rules for the idiots who shouldn’t be writing in the first place!

With the advent, and continued rise, of the indie writers, we as readers should not be accepting of anything that allows them to continue to be bad writers. We should be expecting them to improve as they write and to learn the rules and the skills they need.

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The mindset of the typical oxford comma user

 

So when you are writing and are tempted to use the oxford comma to get out of re-writing your sentence, just remember, Demon Goat will be waiting for you.

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bookstooge (Custom)

 

Culling – An Exercise in Futility

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The Cull Master is Tired

 

I have been in the habit of culling, on a regular basis, all the “people” who follow me here on WordPress.  It’s a habit I’ve had to get rid of all the dead wood and scum bags that accumulate. Recently, I’ve been getting flippity flopping tired of it.  I am especially tired of dirtbag writers who follow me but who have nothing in common with my blog. And when I remove them and they follow me AGAIN within 24hrs, well, that tells me they’re just looking for attention because of what awful people they are.

And don’t even get me started on those “companies”, like Hastings Services. I removed those miserable sad sacks 15 times before they stopped trying.

But I’m done with that now. It is like counting the sands on a beach, never ending. So follow away you pieces of algorithms, you attention whores, you scammers. I simply don’t care any more.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

Ranty Ravey McRantyPants!!!!!!!!!!

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Please don’t spoil books for people. Ever. Like, even if the book is 200 years old and everyone else has read it. Respect your fellow bookworms  A Re-Tweet

I saw this re-tweet. I wanted to take this little brat over my knee and paddle some sense into their head through their butt. What an arrogant little piece of trash. Who do they think they are to dictate to me, or others, how we can, or cannot review a book that we read?

It has nothing to do with respect. It has everything to do with a sense of self-entitlement and a self-centred view of the universe where that person is god and everyone else must bow down to their wishes and fulfill their desires. The attitude shown by the above tweet shows a breathtaking lack of thought and intellectual fortitude.

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All Because King Georgey Porgy tried to tell George Washington how to write his book review!

DON’T YOU DARE DICTATE TO ME HOW I MAY OR MAY NOT REVIEW A BOOK.

I am so pissed off right now that I can’t even think.

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Every single part of the above sentence is incorrect, IF you know your anime. And if that tweeter knew what free speech actually was and what it cost, they’d commit seppuku in shame AND they’d convince their parents to commit seppuku for raising such a dumb ass.

/rant

 

 

bookstooge

Bookstooge & the Invisible Reader

 

RANT AHEAD

 

2 1/2 years ago I wrote a post on Booklikes where I lamented the Invisible Reader. Said post was entitled “Why Do You Follow Me?”. Moving over to WordPress this year hasn’t really changed those questions very much.

I mentally understand that there exist people who follow others but don’t like or comment. But I don’t know why they do it. Just like I mentally understand that pressing a button on my magic box allow me to talk to my folks who are 1000miles away, but I sure as heck don’t know the mechanics of how my phone actually works. It is that gap between knowing and understanding that continues to fascinate me.

Personally, when I follow someone, I don’t expect them to follow me back. I am following them because I am interested in what they are writing AND how they are writing it. I won’t follow someone who regularly posts things that I am against. Also, if I find out something about someone I follow that I don’t really care for, I have no compunctions about not following them. I also try to give the same liberties to anyone who follows me. That is one reason why I really recommend people read the About Me section. I have no problems if people stop following me because of things I write. That is their choice and since they’re adults, I give them the right to make up their own minds. I just expect the same in return 🙂

Back to the Invisible Reader.  The whole idea fascinates me, mainly because on a place like WordPress, where everything worthwhile is expressed through Words [gifs aren’t worthwhile but that is another whole post unto itself], I would have thought that the very process of being on here would weed out people who make up the Invisible Reader.  My blog isn’t a magazine with 10,000 faceless people who read it. It is followed by fellow bloggers who also write their own blogs. In other words, by people who know how to use their words. I certainly don’t expect every person who follows me to comment on every post. Not even I do that on the people who I follow.

But that gap between the Likes and the number of Views per post is big enough that I can’t get over it. It comes down to the fact that there are people who follow me, read what I post but don’t interact with me. I have to admit, I simply do not Understand it.  It really bugs me when I can’t understand people.  It isn’t about a numbers game, a popularity conquest, even while it may sound like that.  A blog is not a forum. I don’t write my posts JUST for you to read them. But that is what people DO.

I am writing all this because I’m just frustrated about not really understanding. The other thing is that I’ve recently had a couple of followers who blatantly followed me and commented on a post just to try to get me to follow them to boost their numbers. THAT pisses me off. Those kind of lowlifes I can actually understand. I despise them, would gladly consign them to a death in an arena with hungry jackalopes, heck I’d probably be ok with kneecapping them, but I understand them. They are the shallow, vacuous pond scum floating on the top of the ocean with no depth to them. But the Invisible Reader is the deep strong current running through the ocean that you don’t see and you don’t see their presence except in a small area, ie, views.

All right, got that out of my system. I should be ok for a year or two now. Thank you for reading. Thankfully, Grumpy Cat is my Co-pilot * wink *

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I Will Make Them Cry – Indie Rant

Comment I recently read online:

“As an author of *redacted* book, I really appreciate your thoughts in this post. I wrote a post once entitled “Tips for writing fair book reviews that don’t make the author cry.” I’m fine with kind, diplomatic, constructive criticism – but some seem unable to write a critical review that is also kind and diplomatic. In can be done.
One review of my book crushed me and upset me for months. (Yeah, I need a thicker skin!) But the reason I was upset was that the reviewer expected my book to be something that I NEVER intended it to be, therefore I found the review unfair. Now, it could be I failed to properly describe my book on the back cover or my title wasn’t ideal, and it gave a wrong impression. It can be hard to “capture” a book with a proper title and back cover description, especially with minimal funds with a self or hybrid published book! But the reviewer could have noted that. Another reviewer, in fact, did such. They wrote that they expected “x” and instead found the book to be “y” and then wrote a positive and glowing review. I was appreciative.
I once read this: “A good book review appreciates and critiques the book that is written, not the book that the reviewer thinks should have been written.” Keeping an authors credentials and experience in mind can also help a review be kinder. Is this their first book? C’mon, it may be quite good for a first attempt and the author’s future capabilities evident. A new author with genuine potential could be crushed and not try again, if they only receive harsh reviews that failed to see the quality of their first attempt. Etc.”

 

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Folks, you are never going to get a review from me that is dictated by a Special Snowflake. I’ll write what I want and if it makes someone cry, boohoo. That just goes to show the wisdom of writers NOT reading reviews of their books. That is a special kind of Narcissism and I’ll not be party to it. I’ll hack and cut and slash and put that book out of its misery.

 

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bookstooge