Life Advice…w/ Dr. Bookstooge

dr_mario_trust_me_im_a_doctor_meme_by_sonic171000-db6d563

 

It’s one of those kind of days.  I’ve got diarrhea of the brain and fingers, so I’ve got a ton of nonsense just waiting to explode onto the screen.

 

My first piece of advice, to anyone, male, female, tall, short, smart or stupid, is to not have parents. Any problem you might have, it can be avoided by simply not having parents.  Now, if you’re reading this, you’ve obviously ignored this piece of advice. Don’t worry, 100% of people who come to me for advice have ALSO ignored this advice. You are not alone in this.

evangelion_by_gaarakazekague

(Of course, if you’re listening to that song by Michael Jackson, well, you get what you deserve, in my professional medical opinion)

 

Most people, when they come to me for Parental Pod advice, ask me what they can “do” about their problem.  The thing is, as I shake my wisely visage and appear sympathetic, is to deconstruct the thinking behind that “do”.  Most people don’t realize that Parental Pods (will be referred to as PP’s from hereon in) are also people too. Yes, you heard that right. Most other doctors don’t subscribe to this idea, but if you carefully examine the evidence, you’ll see that I, Doctor Bookstooge, am right. Not just a little bit right, but COMPLETELY right. I call this groundbreaking theory, Parental Pods are People Too, or PPaPT to keep things snappy. My clients like it when I use acronyms. Lets them know that I’m hip with the jiving lingo that the kids use today. Now, if those same kids would just stay off my lawn, we’d be all set.

The second thing to realize is since PPaPT applies, this means that every mood, feeling and thought you have, they also apply to the PP in question. Are you a stubborn jackass sometimes? Are you an opinionated, hotheaded loudmouth? Well, I hate to break it to you, but your PP were those things first. This makes them much more experienced in such things.  Accept the fact that you can’t be more “X” than your PP.

matt-smith-point-death-of-the-doctor

Yes, this post applies to you too, you stubborn, hotheaded, opinionated, loudmouthed jackass.

 

My final advice to most patients suffering from one form of PP or another, is that they can’t actually do anything about it.  It once again comes down to our PPaPT philosophy here at Dr McBookstooges Inc.  We believe that most cases of PP just need to run their course, kind of like the man-flu.

bcc7c880f136f71c5605bbdac3519986

 

And I believe that is probably all the medical advice that needs to be packed into one post. Any more and readers would start losing their minds and begin worshipping me as a veritable dynamo of divine wisdom.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

Advertisements

Sick

Ugg. I’ve been sick since last Thursday. Had to leave work at noon on Friday to boot. Basically sprawled on the couch all weekend. Went back to work yesterday and while I stayed mobile for the whole day, I was pretty wiped by the time I got home. Today promises to be about the same. Some sort of flu/cold thing that is just hanging on.

Old man with fever

 

I think this might be it folks. If you don’t see any more posts from me, you’ll know I’ve gone on to a better place.

funny-man-cold