Sweet Silver Blues (Garrett, P.I.) ★★★☆½

sweetsilverblues (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Sweet Silver Blues
Series: Garrett, P.I.
Author: Glen Cook
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 320
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

Garrett, a Private Investigator, is hired by the Patriarch of some cobbler elves to carry out his sons last wishes. It doesn’t hurt that the son and Garrett both served in Cantard and survived their army stint in that region. The father reveals that his son was getting rich in speculating on silver prices, with help from a woman in the Cantard who is probably on the enemies side. This same woman is one that Garrett fell in love with back in the day. So to help out an old dead buddy and maybe see the love of his youth, Garrett agrees to go into the Cantard and get the woman back to TunFaire where she will inherit a small fortune.

Unfortunately, the dead brother has a sister named Rose and Rose wants all that money for herself. She tries to hire Garrett, seduce Garrett, threaten and assault Garrett and eventually she is forced to team up with Garrett. Garrett also hires the help of various people to go on this trip with him.

Turns out the Lady is a vampire now. Garrett and Co kill the Bloodmaster, escape with the Lady and another vampire Garrett’s coworker wants for reasons of his own and make it back to TunFaire. The Lady is welcomed by the cobblers as an unofficial inlaw and given the best treatment to reverse the vampirism. Morly, Garrett’s coworker uses his vampire to destroy the local crimelord who has been making threats against Morly.

Everyone is relatively happy and everybody gets paid. Garrett also hooks up with Rose’s cousin so the detective fulfills the mission AND gets the girl. Not bad.

 

My Thoughts:

Nothing brilliant with this book but it was the most fun I’ve had so far this month besides with Shaman King. Light hearted rompy fun.

Cook is obviously riffing on the Hardboiled Noir Detective thing and if I was better versed in that genre I might be able to appreciate this even more. As it is, a hard drinking, hard headed, hard fisted detective living in an Urban Fantasyland works really well. I guess this isn’t strictly Urban Fantasy, as it isn’t our world at all, but it has all the earmarks of a mixed group of humans and supernatural and a city and the goings ons that happen in cities (the stinking, filthy, cowflop places).

Cook still yanks his readers around with making his characters know things that aren’t revealed to us and having “things happen” very suddenly with almost no warning. I know I missed particulars but I just sat back and let the story roll, even if I didn’t perhaps catch all the whys & wherefores. Cook has a style that while not exactly the same, is similar enough so an astute reader can pick up on it from his Black Company books or his Dread Empire series.

I have zero interest in straight up detective fiction. Not mysteries, but Detective Fiction. However, throw in some paranormal stuff and bam, it really works for me. And Garrett is no whiny, crybaby, “poor me, the Council doesn’t like me” miserable sodding jackass like some other character I can think of whose name rhymes with Harry Dresden. I can’t say that if you hate Dresden you’ll like Garrett, but if Dresden made you give up on Urban Fantasy, Garrett might be able to punch you in the head until you admit you really DO like Urban Fantasy now, honest sir!

As long as no pedophile wizard shows up to ruin the series like Cook did with his last Dread Empire book, I suspect I’ll be glad to work my through the 15+ books in this series.

★★★☆½

 

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Fail Harder (Caverns & Creatures #2) ★☆☆☆½

failharder (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Fail Harder
Series: Caverns & Creatures #2
Author: Robert Bevan
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 305
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

The Gang of merry losers runs into some other humans who have been sent to this fantasy world by Mordred. They team up with them and learn of yet another group, of middle graders, who were Mordred’s favorites and are sure to run rampant once they learn of his demise.

Katherine, Tim’s sister, is kidnapped by a vampire who has also been brought here by Mordred. He turns her before the group can rescue her but they do rescue her and kill the vamp. With the loot and stuff they raid from the dead vamp’s castle, they pay a dodgy magician to get Tim back to the real world so he can find Mordred’s dice and figure out how to get everyone back.

Tim makes it back, but still in his halfing body and finds Mordred still alive in the freezer. The dodgy magician, having a glimpse of our world through Tim’s mind, decides he wants to check things out and brings the whole Gang back with him.

 

My Thoughts:

You know, I barely even noticed the profanity this time around. However, the reason I didn’t was because of the crass humor and the complete stupidity of just about ALL the characters involved.

This group of people who got sucked into the fantasy world? They deserve to die. In fact, the United States is a better place if these people really did die. The fact that scum like them get their vote to count as much as mine, it infuriates me.

Yeah, I was pretty pissed off for almost the whole book. That is how pathetic these people were. So I’m done. I knew I was going to be done with this book one way or another, but my goodness, the amount of idiocy the characters packed into a mere 300 pages was astounding.

Don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with them being hardcore gamers. I can sit around and play Magic the Gathering for hours on end. But I’m not an idiot who just does whatever he feels like whenever he feels like. I realize I haven’t pointed out specifics for you to judge for yourselves. But just think of someone you know who does what they want, when they want, regardless of consequences and you have this group. I’ve been using the term “stupid” but it is more along the lines of irresponsible in the worst way.

I still would like to thank Swords & Spectres for his very enthusiastic take on this series. For some non-frothing at the mouth reviews, check out his reviews. Maybe he can convince you to read them.

★☆☆☆½

 

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Dust of Dreams (Malazan Book of the Fallen #9) ★☆☆☆½

dustofdreams (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Dust of Dreams
Series: Malazan Book of the Fallen #9
Author: Steven Erikson
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 950
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

The White Faced Bargast, now returned to their ancestral lands, are hemmed in by the lands current sets of clans and misused.The Bargast are now led by Onos Toolan, a resurrected T’lan Imass. He is trying to change their ways but in the face of a hostile land, the Bargast reject Toolan’s leadership, kill him, hobble his wife and drive off his children. Toolan comes back as a T’lan (hence the Dust of Dreams). The Bargast face their enemies but everyone is destroyed when “something” simply freezes them all into little pieces. Toolan hunts down the survivors and kills them all to fulfill his vengeance against the Bargast. In doing so, he ignores a summons by Adjunct Tavore and the Bonehunters.

The Bonehunters are leaving Lether to head through the Wastes into a kingdom where a piece of the Fallen god is. The Adjunct’s plan is to destroy said piece. They are supposed to meet up with the Bargast (that obviously doesn’t happen) and the Grey Helms, a mercenary branch. The Bonehunters are accompanied by Brys Beddict and his elite guards from Letheri.

A Skykeep of K’chain Che’Malle origin, with the help of a lone surviving human, must find a Shield Anvil and a Mortal Sword if this set of K’Chain want to survive. They get Stormy and Gessler. They meet up with the Bonehunters.

Icarium is now a ghost and haunting a group of people who have found an abandoned Sky Keep. They begin to awaken the Keep, which was created just to destroy the short-tailed K’Chain, the Narruk.

The Narruk, who have a dozen skykeeps from another realm, invade the world of Malaz and end up in the Wastes. It is up to the Bonehunters and everyone else in the area to destroy them. But without the help of the T’lan Imass, the outcome is in doubt.

There is a huge devastating battle at the end and whole armies are destroyed. We don’t know who survives.

 

My Thoughts:

Before I started writing this review, I went and read my original one from 2010, just to see if my perspective on this book had changed. A lot of the time the years give me a new viewpoint and something I used to like I no longer do or something I hated I now enjoy. Unfortunately, the review from 2010 is pretty much exactly the same as what I’ll be writing here.

With this book Erikson has cemented in my mind that he is a real bag of crap. Out of 950 pages, the plot is only forwarded by maybe 200 of those pages. The rest is devoted Erikson spewing out depressing cant and nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense. When somebody does do something good and heroic, Erikson makes sure to piss on it by having other characters destroy the moment with their own regrets and melancholy and depression. Any possible good thing Erikson squats over and craps on with a diarrhea quality.

This is a junk book and once again, while the series starts out so awesomely with Gardens of the Moon, it has descended into a morass of soapbox preaching and what’s worse, extremely BORING soapbox preaching. I no longer recommend this series because of the last 3 books.

This is the level of bloviated writing that destroyed the sales of his Karkanas trilogy (which is stuck at book 2 and looks like it will never get finished). Thankfully, Ian Esslemont seems to be doing a good job of actually writing a real trilogy with a real plot and keeping the world of Malaz alive. I do plan on reading the last book in this series but after that, I’ll just stick to Gardens of the Moon if I ever feel the need to dip my toes into the world of Malaz. It just isn’t fun sticking my head under this faucet of filth.

★☆☆☆½

 

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Wizard’s First Rule (Sword of Truth #1) ★★☆☆☆

wizardsfirstrule (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Wizard’s First Rule
Series: Sword of Truth #1
Author: Terry Goodkind
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 852
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

Richard Cypher, still dealing with his father being brutally murdered, and forbidden from investigating by his elder brother who is about to become the most powerful man in Westland, rescues a young woman from the clutches of four men. Her name is Kahlan.

Kahlan is from the Midlands, a land where magic abounds and that is cutoff from Westland by the Border, a magical construct. But the Border between the Midlands and D’Hara has already fallen and Lord Rahl, lord of D’Hara, has taken over the Midlands. A prophecy says that Kahlan will find the Seeker, the wielder of the Sword of Truth, in the Westlands. This Seeker can only be appointed by the last remaining wizard, a wizard so powerful that he cast a spell that made everyone in the entire world forget his name and his face.

Richard takes Kahlan to his old friend Zed, a rascally old man who has trained Richard throughout the years in woodcraft and various other skills. Richard does something or other that makes it obvious that he is the Seeker Kahlan is looking for, but where will they find an unkown wizard who has the Sword of Truth to give to Richard? Oh wait…

Richard, Kahlan and Zed are on the run, as Lord Rahl is able to send magical creatures across the Border to hunt down Kahlan. Richard has memorized a secret book and Lord Rahl has done some magical stuff with some magical boxes. These boxes will either give Lord Rahl complete power, certain death or the destruction of all living things. Only Richard knows the correct box to pick.

Lord Rahl pulls shenanigans and ends up with everybody at his castle. Everyone is so busy trying to protect everybody else that they give Lord Rahl exactly what he wants. He opens a Box of Orden, only Richard, being such a super smart Seeker, tricked him. Lord Rahl dies and it is revealed that Richard Cypher is actually the son of Lord Rahl and the grandson of the Wizard Zeddicus. Long Live the Good Lord Rahl!

 

My Thoughts:

Awwwww man! This went from a 5star read in ’04, on my Loved side of the 100 books of Bookstooge down to a 2 star! Folks, that is a crushing blow. I am not sure that Life itself is worth continuing. With a blow like that, my confidence is shattered, my ego destroyed and my ham-handed self-righteousness has been shish-kebabed.

Where do I start?

Well, the writing I guess. It was bad. It was clunky. It was choppy. It did not flow. When I read the words I felt like I was in a wagon going over a cobblestone road. Richard did things. Richard said things. Kahlan also did and said things. Zed AND Lord Rahl both said and did things. It felt like watching a marionette show. I have no memory of the writing being this unskilled 14 years ago. Guess I’ve matured in that time. Thank goodness!

The characters. Most of the issues with the various characters stems from the writing skill (or lack thereof) and not because of any inherent flaws in the characters. They are mainly flat without any real individuality. The romance between Richard and Kahlan has all the texture, flavor and excitement of drying cement. Zed, for being a wizard of great strength and age, is as much an idiot as Richard.

The Mord Sith. This was just disturbing this time around. A group of women broken in every single way so that pain is pleasure to them. Lord Rahl then somehow makes them able to control any magic used against them and the Mord Sith can torture the magic user until they are the Mord Sith’s slave. This was gone into in way more detail than was needed and I just felt dirty after reading it.

Everything is resolved because Richard is the golden boy. I usually like a protagonist who is capable and smart and able to handle everything thrown at him. This time though, Richard didn’t work that way for me. He’s so golden King Midas would be envious. It didn’t encourage me, it made me nauseous. It didn’t help that Goodkind uses Richard as a mouth piece and Goodkind blows the trumpet loud and long.

Overall, a very bleh read that really crushed me with how disappointed I was because of my memories.I will be removing this from the Bookstooge in 100 Books list once I find a suitable replacement to go on the “Loved” side. Way to go Goodkind, make MORE work for me almost 15 years after I read your book. You’re a real peach…

★★☆☆☆

 

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Harpist in the Wind (Riddlemaster #3) ★★★☆ ½

harpistinthewind (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Harpist in the Wind
Series: Riddlemaster #3
Author: Patricia McKillip
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 260
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

The shapeshifters from the Sea continue and escalate their battle against humanity. But their fighting makes no sense, as they simply occupy areas where the old Earthmasters cities used to be.

Morgan keeps on running away and Raederle keeps finding him and getting him back on track. It is revealed that the High One’s harpist, who betrayed Morgan, is actually the High One and that he was using Gwych for his own ends. Morgan and Gwych duke it out and Morgan, as the Starbearer, wins.

The Shapeshifters are revealed as the losers in a war between the Earthmasters. The High One is the last Earthmaster and when he dies, they will break loose and rule all creation. The High One has made Morgan his landheir and hopes his power can lock them away again.

Morgan succeeds with the help of all the kings and the queens of the land and he is now the High One, a fully human High One married to a sorceress of Earthmaster descent.

 

My Thoughts:

Honestly, so much happened so quickly that if you didn’t read every single sentence huge things would change in an eyeblink. Take Deth the Harpist. He’ supposedly dead and then he shows up as a Wizard and it all takes place in a sentence or as an aside.

Morgan was just as stubborn as the first book and I don’t realy like when a character is fighting against what they know is right “just because”. And then when he seals up the Shapeshifters so he doesn’t have to kill them, that was the exact same problem that the original High One had, for at one point they’ll break loose AGAIN and start the cycle all over. You don’t hold a threat in a pen, you destroy it.

Most likely the least enjoyable McKillip I’ve re-read so far. I wasn’t quite so confused as last time but my goodness, I wasn’t enthralled just kind of whirling along hoping to stay conscious until the end. Definitely would NOT recommend this for a first timer of McKillip. If I ever do another re-read of her stuff, I’m going to try to remember to skip this trilogy.

★★★☆ ½

 

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Empire (Warhammer: Legend of Sigmar #2) DNF@5%

empire (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Empire
Series: Warhammer: Legend of Sigmar #2
Author: Graham McNeill
Rating: Unrated
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 420/DNF@5%
Format: Digital Edition

 

My Thoughts:

After slogging through The Deaths of Tao and giving up because I didn’t care 2 farthings for Tao, I realized that I didn’t care even 1 farthing about Sigmar or the ultimately failed world of Warhammer. So I dnf’d this before I got frustrated. As such, I’m not rating this. If you like most other Warhammer books, I’m sure you’ll like this one. If you don’t like Warhammer, then I highly doubt this book will change your mind.

Sorry Dave, I tried. But the Warhammer universe just isn’t for me. But at least my initial interest helped get you online and blogging, right? And our friendship is definitely worth this little adventure, no matter how it turned out for me.

 

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Ghostly Echoes (Jackaby #3) ☆☆☆☆½ DNF@22%

ghostlyechoes (Custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Ghostly Echoes
Series: Jackaby #3
Author: William Ritter
Rating: 0.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: YA Fantasy
Pages: 353/DNF@22%
Format: Digital Edition

 

 

 

My Thoughts:

 

[Miss Rook] “Miss Lee was really a boy, wasn’t she? Underneath”

He slowed and then came to a stop and looked me square in the eyes, “That’s up to her to decide,”

~page 56

 

Yep, I’m done with this author now. Ritter’s going to push the SJW line about gender and cross dressing down my throat, forget it. As much as I enjoyed the previous 2 books, no amount of enjoyment is worth listening to lies for.

By the by, cross dressing is a moral deviancy that indicates some real brokenness inside. It isn’t normal and it shouldn’t be treated as such. It’s an indicator and Christian professional help should be sought. Just like you wouldn’t tell a man with a broken leg that he’s ok. Even if you can’t fix it, you can tell him to go to a doctors. But denying that there is anything wrong is the height of foolishness.

Man, this is NOT the way I wanted to start out a new month…

☆☆☆☆½

 

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