Avast, ye landlubbers, Captain Bookstooge is here to tell ye a tale that’ll shiver ye timbers right into toothpicks!
Back in my youth, I’d sailed the wide seas and rassled with many a critter that’d give an ordinary man nightmares. Things that devoured men, body AND mind.
And the time came where circumstances forced me to sail those self-same seas again, regardless of the consequences. Not being a captain who kills his crew, I let mine go. None of them deserved the fate I had in store for myself.
A good manly crew but not even they were prepared to sail with me into the darkness. I didn’t blame them and paid them fairly for the time with me. They deserved to go on with their lives.
So I, Captain Bookstooge set forth on a journey that will either raise me to heights I have never experienced in this mortal life or completely destroy me and crush my very soul. I set my sails for the shoals of Arithmetic. I cast forth my harpoon and my first nemesis appeared. It will be a battle waged for months before a victor can be decided.