Lord of the Toothpastes

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The Real Lord of the Toothpaste, Revealed at Last!

 

Three Spearmint for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven Cinnamints for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine Silly Strawberry for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One Fennel for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Tom’s of Maine where the Toothbrushes lie.
One Toothpaste to rule them all, One Toothpaste to find them,
One Toothpaste to bring them all, and in the Bathroom bind them,
In the Land of Tom’s of Maine where the Toothbrushes lie

 

A Parody by Bookstooge (or is it?)
*insert X-Files music*

 

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Seven Heavenly Book Virtues (Tag)

Pio and Ola took the Seven Deadly Book Sins tag and being Good Catholics (ha) have done a tag from the Other Perspective. So without further ado, here is their tag with my answers. Enjoy.

 

CHASTITY: WHICH AUTHOR/BOOK/SERIES YOU WISH YOU HAD NEVER READ?

Man, let me tell you. I wish I had never read the Ware tetralogy by Rucker. I did a “Surviving a Bad Book” post about the 3rd book, Freeware,  and even now, it just grosses me out.

 

TEMPERANCE: WHICH BOOK/SERIES DID YOU FIND SO GOOD, THAT YOU DIDN’T WANT TO READ IT ALL AT ONCE, AND YOU READ IT IN DOSES JUST TO MAKE THE PLEASURE LAST LONGER?

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Origin manga.  Of course, it helped that I was reading it from the library and could only check out so many at a time.

 

CHARITY: WHICH BOOK/SERIES/AUTHOR DO YOU TIRELESSLY PUSH TO OTHERS, TELLING THEM ABOUT IT OR EVEN GIVING AWAY SPARE COPIES BOUGHT FOR THAT REASON?

I’m not a real pusher. Probably the book to come closest to this though would be Dune. If someone mentions that they’re going to read it, I’m definitely there in the comments cheering them on. I do love Dune.

 

DILIGENCE: WHICH SERIES/AUTHOR DO YOU FOLLOW NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS AND HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO WAIT?

Adrian Tchaikovsky.  He had me with his Shadows of the Apt Decalogy. It helps that he’s almost the equal of Brandon Sanderson in terms of output. The man is a machine and just churns out the books year after year.

 

PATIENCE: IS THERE AN AUTHOR/BOOK/SERIES YOU’VE READ THAT IMPROVED WITH TIME THE MOST, STARTING OUT UNPROMISING, BUT ULTIMATELY PROVING REWARDING?

MHI is an urban fantasy series that has definitely improved as the series progressed and the author became more skilled. The first book, Monster Hunter International, I only gave 3 stars to back in ’12 and claimed I’d never re-read it. I’m planning on starting a re-read of the MHI series next year 😀

 

KINDNESS: WHICH FICTITIOUS CHARACTER WOULD YOU CONSIDER YOUR ROLE-MODEL IN THE HASSLE OF EVERYDAY LIFE?

Jerome from Way-Farer.  I can’t begin to describe how I see my younger self in that young man.  The good and the bad.

 

HUMILITY: WHICH BOOK/SERIES/AUTHOR DO YOU FIND MOST UNDER-RATED?

Anything by Patricia McKillip. That woman writes poetry in prose and her books always transport me. Her re-release of The Forgotten Beasts of Eld was a chance for the next generation to get some quality writing into their steady diet of YA pablum. Unfortunately,  they eschewed quality and chose the drivel. I do not see her surviving as a “named author” in 100 years.

 

And that wraps that up. I’d like to thank Pio and Ola for taking the time to create this.  Great job!

 

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August ’19 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

Books: 13

Pages: 3578

Average Rating: 2.92

 

The Bad:

Torchship Captain – 1/2 star

Empire of Silence – 1 Star

 

The Good:

The Mating Season – 4 1/2 Stars

Galactic North – 4 1/2 Stars

 

Miscellaneous:

My pagenumbers and average really sucked this month. Having several dnf’s and quite a few low rating books just dragged everything down. It did lead to a lot of clearing on my kindle and tbr though, so that is good I guess.  I’ve also decided to get rid of the Ravenloft series, even though I stated in Dance of the Dead that I was going to give it one more chance. With the changes I’ll be talking about later in the post I literally don’t have time to give chances to series that already have a proven bad track record.

I did another “Quote” post and I have to say, I rather like doing that. Kind of an update about what I’m currently reading. Does double duty. Always glad to let posts do more of the work around here. It’s about time they started carrying their weight!

I Won some writing gloves that keep your hands warm in the winter. Of course, with it being high summer now I’ll have to wait a couple of days months before winter actually arrives. I have high hopes for them though. Even if they were made by wu jiao at midnight, at Chairman Mao’s grave.

Got back on the #6Degrees bandwagon. I’m hoping to do this more often, at least every other month, instead of the completely random inclusions that I’ve been doing. It’s fun, it allows me to go through my backlog of old reviews and it helps motivate me to add links to old reviews here on WordPress. Win, win, win for everyone. The problem with bandwagons is that it is pretty easy to fall off of them. If it gets too bad, I might have to join #6degreesAnonymous and get myself on a 6step program.

Wrote up the last #worldbookczar post and interviewed HAL1000. Seemed like a pretty trust’able accounting program. I mean, any program created by Keffin Flyyv and who worked with Trin, well, if you can’t trust THAT program, who can you trust?

Had another Book Catch post. Thanks again to all of you who suggested the term Book Catch. I’m really liking it and it works perfectly. Of course, THIS book catch wasn’t one that had me all excited or anything. Quite the opposite. However, it is the perfect lead in to the changes I’ve been not so subtly hinting at all month.

 

Personal:

This will probably be a tad long, so bear with me.

I’ve been working at my current employer since 2000. Went part time from ’08-15 when the economy tanked (land surveying is the first hit when things go bad, especially when what is going bad is mortgages). I was certified as a Field Tech, level II back in ’06 (there are approximately 5 levels) and had some hazy notion of eventually getting my State Surveyor’s License and moving into more of an office position. That all kind of just fell aside and nothing has ever come of it. When I came back full time to surveying in ’15 I started working with older guys (50’s+) and realized that I didn’t want to be a 60 year old out in the field. Mentioned to my boss about maybe moving up to a Level IV and got response something like “That is a great idea. Go for it”. Not being a self-starter or one who easily figures things out on my own, that kind of died. I need some guidance and direction.

Then last year our second full time field guy left for another company (where he was promptly let go after a couple of weeks) and I was stuck with doing the work with either the robotic instrument or having a couple of the office people fill in a day here, a day there on jobs where 2 people were absolutely necessary. I kept waiting for another field crew guy to be hired but when it hadn’t happened by March of this year I realized it wasn’t going to.  I updated my resume but still didn’t do anything. I’m a creature of habit and getting out of a rut 19 years old was beyond me. In May or June I stopped working on Fridays because I was just worn out.

In June one of the main people in the office gave his notice (he’d been with the company over 25 years) and I was kind of expecting to be drawn in and trained to take over some of his responsibilities. Well, when nothing happened, once again, I realized I had to make some changes. So I sent out my resume to 3 other survey companies. Had several interviews and accepted an offer from one of them. Not a pay increase, but working with another full time field crew and the promise to start me as an Office Tech AND the promise to guide me through the process of getting my license (if that is what I really want) really made me happy. Company New has a guy transitioning out and I’ll be slowly transitioning in from 1 day a week until full time probably by the end of the year. That’ll give my old company plenty of time figure out what to do.

What this means is that I’ll be working more (45 hour weeks is the standard at the new company, where I’ve been doing 35’ish at the old) and once home working on my very rusty math skills. Algebra, geometry and trigonometry, here I come. I figure an hour each evening for math lessons.  So a lot less time for reading and blogging. Once I start full time in ’20, I figure I’ll be lucky to do 2 books a week and it’s probably going to be more realistic to plan on 60-75 books a year. I also suspect that the number of people I follow in wordpress is going to drop as I have less time for blog reading. I have no idea how that is going to go, but just wanted to give everyone a heads up that I’ll probably not be as active.

It is going to be a lifestyle change that will affect my online time. Exactly how everything is going to change is really unknown (even with me boldly stating what I did in the last paragraph) and until the changes happen, it is all conjecture. But change is in the air and it WILL affect my reading and blogging. Just wanted to give you all fair warning. I certainly don’t plan on disappearing though (which seems to happen to many bloggers when things change) so no fears on that end of the scale.

Thank you for reading.

 

Cover Love:

This month’s cover love is for one of the books that I dnf’d. Figures. Great looking cover though!

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The Deadliest (Book) Catch

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Avast, ye landlubbers, Captain Bookstooge is here to tell ye a tale that’ll shiver ye timbers right into toothpicks!

Back in my youth, I’d sailed the wide seas and rassled with many a critter that’d give an ordinary man nightmares. Things that devoured men, body AND mind.

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And the time came where circumstances forced me to sail those self-same seas again, regardless of the consequences.  Not being a captain who kills his crew, I let mine go. None of them deserved the fate I had in store for myself.

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A good manly crew but not even they were prepared to sail with me into the darkness. I didn’t blame them and paid them fairly for the time with me. They deserved to go on with their lives.

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So I, Captain Bookstooge set forth on a journey that will either raise me to heights I have never experienced in this mortal life or completely destroy me and crush my very soul. I set my sails for the shoals of Arithmetic. I cast forth my harpoon and my first nemesis appeared. It will be a battle waged for months before a victor can be decided.

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