Motorcycles VERSUS Scooters

Folks, this shouldn’t even be a post that I have to write about. However, it has come to my attention that there are genuine adult males, not men, but adult males,  who think that scooters are cool, more cool than motorcycles.  Before I give my very pointed and genuine opinion on THAT, let’s look at some pictorial evidence.

 

 

 

The above is a Suzuki Boulevard S40. That is the motorcycle I owned from ’05 til ’08 when I had to sell it to buy a car for Mrs B when we got married and she moved cross country to the Free’est State in the Union. It is a little bike. I’m only 5’3″ (160cm for you Illuminati types) and I could flat foot it with both feet. However, it was a 650cc engine, so when I was on the highway, I could give that baby the throttle and BAM, I was going 80mph (about 130kph) in seconds.  Motorcycles only get bigger and more powerful from there. This cost me about 5 G’s back in the day.

 

 

 

This is a Vespa GTS 300, a brand name scooter. You can’t ride this on the highway legally here. You do need a MOTORCYCLE license though. It is about a 280cc.  It costs about 7 G’s.

 

 

 

Dwayne Johnson, better known as the Rock, on his motorcycle. Definitely not wearing Bookstooge approved footwear for riding, but we’re working on that.

 

 

 

 

An attractive young lady on a scooter. Well, except for those shoes.  I never have, and never will, understand the fascination with high heels.

 

Scooters have their place and virile, strong and manly men CAN ride them. Gregory Peck showed us all the truth of that in Roman Holiday.  So, if you are ever in Rome and secretly dating a princess, you ride that scooter!

Roman Holiday 3 (Medium)

 

But other than that, if you have any of the sense that God gave you and you just have to get on 2 wheels, get a phracking motorcycle! A motorcycle will show just what kind of man you actually are.  A motorcycle is dangerous and thrilling and you HAVE to be in control of that bike at all times, aware of everything around you, or you’ll end up dead, a hood ornament on some oversized SUV and be a byline on the 6 o’clock news. You will never be more alive though than when you are driving around on it.

So who wins in this VERSUS post? Need you even ask?

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Motorcycles for the Win!

 

 

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PSA: Blogging Mano A Mano Style

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Sometimes blogging as a man, I wish there was a core set of Man Blogs (Dibs! I’m trademarking that! ) that I could subscribe to. No offense to ANY of you ladies who I follow or who follow me. But just what is the ratio of Male to Female when it comes to blogging for fun? I don’t care to clutter up this post with cold hard facts, so I’m going with a ratio of Less to More.

Bossy guy pointing at you.

Actually, 1 to 4 does sound about right

 

The problem I have found with following more men is that it can, and for me usually does,  end up like this:

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Man 1: “Swiss Cheese is the best!”  Man 2: “I’ll KILL you!”

 

Strong opinions get thrown around willy-nilly and before you know it one of the two is getting their butt kicked. Like this poor guy:

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Bookstooge-senpai schools Punk-san in proper fighting etiquette

 

Butt-kicking gets really tiring after a while.  I don’t want to hang out with jocks, mind you. I want articulate, reasoned thinking men. But those very same qualities can turn around and bite you in the butt.

I guess this is one of those situations where I want to be Alpha Man and every other man to be Beta Man, maybe Beta-Plus occasionally. But another Alpha?  Ha, kill that sucker!

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Backoff buddy, this whole thing is MINE!

 

This is where what I want simply isn’t possible.  One thing I have learned is to really rein in my opinions when commenting on others’ blogs.  I have also learned that when I get a desire to be part of a pack, I just need to wait a day or two and then I’m back to my desire for solitude.  This is more of a vent than anything else.

So to you guys who I do follow and haven’t fought with, I’d like to thank you. For being patient with me, for letting me air my strong opinions on your blogs without biting my head off.  I don’t take it for granted, really.

And to end on slightly more humorous note…

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I used a gif, so shoot me. Oh wait, my dinosaur already shot you!

 

 

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Saint Bookstooge Gives Answer

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As you can see, the Denizens of Hell itself (namely, you all) presented me with a veritable book of questions to answer in my Confessional post. Being of stout heart and sound mind, I will answer such questions to put to rest any rumors that I am a crazy, grumpy nut job. And vote for me when the next election for World Book Czar comes around!

 

1 )  What is something a lot of people don’t know about you?

Good question!  I think the thing most people don’t know is that I’ve never been to Timbuktu. Surprising I know, but very true. The other is that I can never be President of the United States because while I’m a citizen and was born one, I was actually born in Canada. So you all will just have to settle for me as Dictator.

 

2 ) What would be the most offensive question a person could ask you and would you answer it?

I had to think about this one to be honest. A lot of it would have to do with the attitude behind the question. I guess though, it would be someone asking me to deny my faith in Jesus Christ.

On a less serious note, but personally offensive would be if someone asked me if I was a woman. Being bald, goatee’d and rather muscular in the chest and shoulders with a fine tenor voice, I’d have to question their motives in asking. And then probably punch them out for being a dumb git.

 

3 ) When living on the 4th floor of a block of flats, where should I plan to have my bunker installed?

Sadly,  bunkers and urban areas don’t mix real well.  If your building has a flat roof, you could begin surreptitiously building it up there. Of course, when the building is blown to smithereens, your bunker will fall 4 stories and make jelly out of you. So stock up on peanut butter, that way any survivors can have peanut butter and “jelly” sandwiches 😉

 

4 ) Have you ever been in a different country as to where you live and grew up(overseas)? If so where have you visited?

I’ve gone to Israel for 2 weeks back in the early ’00’s. I also did a road trip around Newfoundland (Canada) with an older couple who had always dreamed of doing that. They got a chauffeur and I got to see the sites. Both trips simply confirmed to me that I am a “stay in one place and stick there like mud” kind of guy. I don’t ever plan on travelling outside the US again and even travelling in-country is going to take something like a funeral or family commitments.

 

5 ) What does the Mona Lisa’s smile really signify?

I wish I could say it was something profound, or that it had to do with me, but like much of life, it was a rather petty thing. She had just found out that her sister had been dumped by the football quarterback at the school they were both attending. Jina Lisa had been insufferable up to that point so Mona was happy to see her taken down a peg or two.

 

6 ) It is commonly believed that aliens haven’t invaded Earth because they fear your righteous wrath. But one day you’ll die, and we’ll be defenseless. How can we prepare for the inevitable onslaught?

This is the kind of long range question that shows just how intelligent you all are. I love having followers who can think and extrapolate from that.  So to answer, your best bet is to keep on reading. Aliens hate reading for some reason. It makes it really hard for them to run their spaceships but hey, that’s their problem, right?

 

7 ) I heard you once beat Chuck Norris in an arm-wrestling contest. Is this true?

The only people who know the true answer to that are me, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee (who was the witness and wouldn’t promise to keep his mouth shut. You know what happened to him!)

 

8 ) When you tell someone the time, do you say, for example, “It’s seven-fifteen” or do you say “It’s a quarter past seven”?

When I’m at work, I use the precise 0715 military time but when at home or talking to friends, I tend to use the quarter of and quarter past.

 

9 ) Why are you in such a good mood when you wrote the Confessional post?

I had just gotten back from date night with Mrs B and we had eaten at a gourmet macaroni and cheese restaurant called Mr Mac’s. I’d had mac and pepperoni with pepperjack cheese and I was feeling full and fine. And I’d snuck in a rockstar on the side, so the caffeine was giving me a bit of a kick too.

 

10A ) What was the most difficult thing to teach Bruce Wayne?

You probably won’t believe this, but that little brat had a cockney accent as thick as the Thames. It was “ello guvna” this and “blimey” that. Personally, I place the blame squarely on Alfred’s shoulders. Teaching him to speak American with that special “upper crust” sneer took a couple of months. But he’s Batman, so he did pretty good considering.

 

10B ) What is something else you taught Batman? I’ve always wanted to be like him.

Without giving secrets that might endanger his mission of justice on this Earth, I can say that any time you see Batman rocking the Batsuit, I showed him the moves.  If you want to be like him, throw yourself around the room, whipping your spine as hard as possible. If you survive, you’re good to go!

 

11 ) Be honest, it was actually you who solved the “Death on the Nile” case but since you pitied Poirot you let him had that one?

He actually DID solve that one by himself, with no hand holding from me. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I might have had something to do with getting things taken care of on the Orient Express. He was pretty much out to lunch on Plambian phruze brandy at the time.

 

12 ) It is believed you faked the moon landing, is this true and if so how was it achieved?

This is probably the easiest question to answer. Yes, I did fake it. It was easy as pie because the truth is, there is no moon. Just a big piece of cheese in low orbit.  Nixon didn’t want to do it, but since most of you know how I feel about Commies, well, I couldn’t pass up the chance to bloody their noses. A camera, some duct tape and some metal was really all we needed. You wouldn’t BELIEVE how much money the Soviets wasted after that trying to get to the “moon”.  One of my finest moments!

 

13 ) What is the most infuriating book you’ve ever read?

Either Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, which I covered in a SaBB post or Walden & Civil Disobedience by Thoreau. Thoreau made me so angry for the entire book with his out of touch thoughts on “Nature” and “The Simple Life”.

 

14 ) What is your absolutely most favorite book (if you have one)?

Besides the Bible, which I’ve read through around 15 times,  Dune and Way-Farer are the two other books that I’ve re-read the most.  Something about those 2 caught my imagination when I was a teen and it just hasn’t let go since.

 

15 ) Why did you burn Rome while playing violin?

This is simply vile slander and calumny.  I was playing the saxophone, for goodness sake!  As for why, well, Billaxus the local grocer wouldn’t stock diet Pepsi but made a side deal with Coke. He also said that only pussies drank diet Pepsi.  Billaxus had to go!  So while things “might” have gotten a little out of control, I think everyone would agree with me that I just didn’t have any other choice. And then to make things even worse, that stinking Nero gets all the credit! What is the world coming to?!?!?

 

16 ) Where is the Rebel Base?

Oh please!  If that wuss Anakin SkycrybabypantsWalker can’t make me tell, you sure don’t stand a chance 😉  Ok, ok, I did say I would answer. It’s on Dagobah. Hahahahahahaa!

 

 

 

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July 4th & The Declaration of Independence

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IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

 

 

(This post has been copy-n-pasted from http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/)

Mid-Year 2018 Roundup

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I know I just did the Monthly Roundup & Rambling yesterday but I’ve seen the Mid-Year Freak Out tag going on all through June and I like the idea of a Mid-Year look at how things are proceeding

Now that the year is ACTUALLY half way over (yes, that is a jab), let’s look at some numbers shall we?

 

Books Read:

98 – On track for passing 150, check!

 

Pages Read:

31,190 – On track for 50K, which is my unofficial goal each year now.

 

Average Star Rating:

3.25

 

Most Viewed Post so far:

Algorithm of Power is so far ahead, almost triple the views of any other post, that I doubt anything I write for the rest of the year is going to surpass that.

 

Most Liked Post of so far: 

I can’t figure out how to see this data. I can see Top Liked overall using the sidebar widget, but can’t seem to drill down on just 2018 stuff. If you know how, would you let me know?

 

General Info:

3300+ visitors

3000+ comments – to be accurate, half of those are me 🙂

130 Posts

78K words written -that’s a 300 page novel! (Just call me the next Brandon Sanderson, hahhaaha)

 

Best Book so far:

I have given no book the coveted “Best Book of the Year” tag yet. I guess I better get cracking! Or I’ll have to ret-con some of my high rated, favorite books. I suspect that is what is going to happen.

 

Worst Book so far:

Gods of the Mountain. Not that the book is actually the worst, but the author’s demanding attitude where he began acting like he paid me to be his editor, definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

Sandworms of Dune was horrible in the worst of ways by being so mediocre that vanilla pudding was exciting in comparison and Curse of the Wendigo had some horrible moral content.

 

Cover Love:

I am torn between Jackaby and Stranger of Tempest. They are very different from each other and so trying to choose between is rather hard. So I’m going with both!

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June ’18 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

12 Books

4575 Pages

3.13 Average Star Rating

 

The Bad:

Toll the Hounds – 1 Star

 

The Good:

Mere Christianity – 5 Stars

 

Graphic Novels & Manga:

Read a couple more Silver Sable comics and realized that my time with this medium is pretty much done.

 

Miscellaneous And Personal:

Bailed on Survival Saturday. Work has been exhausting this month and experimenting with some food was just more than I could handle on my day off.  Thankfully, W.C. Bombfunk is making me some chicken potpie later today, so I’m still getting some kind of food!

Surviving a Bad Book went well. I announced I’m putting it on  a break since I’m going to start a new series about the Good books I’ve read.

Didn’t do to many more non-review posts. Did a VERSUS post and ended the month with a Confessional, where I admitted I was open to questions that I would answer next week.

Tomorrow I’ve got a Mid-Year Roundup scheduled, so that should have lots of numbers as well.

 

Cover Love:

Princess of Blood wins the cover love award this time. Whoever Tom Lloyd got to do these covers, he really hit a home run.

I just did some google’ing and it turns out the guy’s name is Jon McCoy.

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♪Bookstooge ♪ Confessional♪

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Step right up, Ladies and Gentlemen! For ONE DAY ONLY!!!

Bookstooge, that international man of mystery, that scallywag that made a fool of Poirot, that debonair playboy who taught Bruce Wayne everything he knows, that world travelling thrill junky, the artist who taught Moby the art of Music, the man who ACTUALLY painted the Mona Lisa, YES, THAT BOOKSTOOGE!!!! is here today.

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Bookstooge, Uncoweled for the First Time in History!

 

No subject is OFF LIMITS. Bookstooge will reveal the secret that started him on his path of skullduggery, the whirlwhind romances he experienced, the near death experiences, the thrilling adventures, the moment when he saw the errors of his ways and became A FORCE FOR GOOD!

So step right up, gentle beings of the galaxy and for a pittance, a mere pittance, be entertained, be astounded, BE AMAZED at what you will see and hear.

 

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It all started that fateful night. I was born! Much against my wishes I am told and as the years have rolled on, I concur. Oh, the pain within and without that could have been avoided if only my parents had died in that car accident. Christened Marstal Thrasble Youngylis the Fourth (and no, my father was Jedibiah Smahck, there were no previous Marstal Thrasble Youngylis’s), I came into this cruel hard world with a name to make grown men weep and beautiful women shudder in horror.

When my parents didn’t die (in car accidents or otherwise) and I realized I would never be adopted and thus have my name changed, something inside of me broke. The rage grew, the inner torment began manifesting as physical flames and I began to invest in DuPont’s Nomex fireproof line of gear. (By the way, that stuff REALLY works. I’ve made a bundle off of my investment. )

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[invest now, pro-tip!]

But whenever I would grow close to a beautiful woman, they were always driven away by the flames of my passion. I burned too hot, too bright, too fast for them. I was destined to be alone, forever. Until that fateful day that I met Miss Librarian Girl. She saw my flames and instead of running away screaming, in horror and despair like so many before, she just threw a bucket of water on me. Surprisingly, once I got over the shock of such an occurrence, I realized that I no longer burned uncontrollably. Thus was born, BOOKSTOOGE! Defender of himself, One Man Reviewing Machine, Spewer of Outlandish Tales and the kindly soul you all have come to love and adore.

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The Crowd Goes Wild!!!!!

 

Since I am in such a good mood today, I have decided to let you ask me questions. That I will answer (ha, I bet you thought I wasn’t going to include that part). So if you have ever wondered anything, or actually nothing but you want to make silly crap up, now is your time. I’ll put up your questions in a separate post next week and answer as best I can. Be warned though, I am Bookstooge, contrarian extraordinaire.

The only caveat is that I will answer NO questions, and I mean absolutely ZERO, on the subject of porkchops. I am simply not at a place in my life where I can deal with such questions. Thank you for understanding.

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