#worldbookczar Candidate: Lex Luthor

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Today’s Candidate: Lex Luthor, CEO of LexCorp

 

B: Thank you Mr Luthor for agreeing to this interview. We’re going to get right down to business and start with some hard questions. I hope you’re ok with that.

LL: Not a problem Bookstooge. If I can’t handle hard questions, not only don’t I deserve to cover up for LexCorp, but I would simply step out of the running for World Book Czar. The Eyes of the World are going to be on that person. Imagine the Media Coverage!

 

B: Great. Ok, first question from Mrs Baller.  “Superman has kryptonite as his weakness, what’s yours?”

LL:   *forced jovial laughMy dear madam, what an absolutely enchanting question. While I try to remain humble, the truth is, I don’t have any. No really, it’s true. That is probably the Number One reason I deserve to be World Book Czar. The Media needs someone who they can admire fully and not feel like sellouts when they do so many glamour shots of me and those “A Day in the Life of..” biopic pieces I’m sure they’ll all be clamoring for.

 

B:  Mr Ichabod asks “Are current fashionistas copying your bald look to emulate you or to try to copy some of your natural good looks?”

LL:  Wow, you weren’t kidding about getting right to the hard questions! Mr Ichabod, I salute your courage and obvious integrity for cutting through the fluff.  I believe it is a bit of both. Bald is beautiful you know and the media always loves a beautiful candidate. A man can’t just DO the job, he has to look good doing it. Which is why if I am World Book Czar it won’t really be a job for me, but more of a calling.

 

B:  Panda would like to know what you think of your Smallville incarnation in the form of Michael Rosenbaum? I’d like to add a follow up question too. Who do you think played you the best and the worst throughout the movies, tv and cartoons?

LL:  Rosenbaum looked GOOD! That one episode where Cassy has a vision of him in the white suit while standing over a mountain of bones turning red? That was classic.

As for others, hmmmm. My least favorite was the cartoon version from Superman: The Animated series. It seemed very clownish to me.  I know it won’t be a popular opinion, but I actually rather enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal in Batman vs Superman. The whole hair to non-hair took some gravitas and I feel he carried it off without a hitch.

The World Book Czar is going to be in the Public’s Eye all the time, so the image presented is VERY important.

 

B:  Monkey would like to know why you have this ongoing conflict with Superman She’d also like some tips for getting out of jail and employment opportunities.

LL:  *dramatic sigh* Ahh, that old question. The thing is, I do NOT have a problem with Superman, he has a problem with me. I’ve reached out to him time and again to work out our differences but don’t you know, it’s always the same old story. “Truth, Justice, the American Way”, blah, blah and then he gets all morally superior and tosses me in jail. There is just no reasoning with him! When I’m World Book Czar, reasoned discussions amongst warring bloggers is top of my list!

I recommend ♪Lawyers,♪Guns♪and Money♪ for getting out of jail. One of the 3 will always work.

As for employment opportunities I suspect I will need a solid cadre of Yes Monkeys when I become World Book Czar. Contact LexCorp at 555-539-2677 OR email your resume to Lex@Lexcorp.com. Please highlight any super powers you might have and put that at the top.  Thank you for your interest and I hope you’ll become a valued member of Team Lex!

 

B: SavageDave would like to know why you don’t use your brains, wealth and abilities for good?

LL: Oh Bookstooge, this question hurts! It hurts me right here *smacks chest*.  Here I am, the only person concerned about an undocumented alien with unregulated power, ruling the earth. Make no mistake, Superman might have a velvet glove, but we all know he is the Man of Steel, not just a fist of steel!  Bullets can’t hurt him, tanks he laughs at. If Superman decides that YOU, SavageDave, are a bad person, off to jail you go and there is NOTHING you can do about it. I stand up for the little man. My secret underground science labs are churning out new ideas every day to help protect mankind!

As World Book Czar I will continue that protection. As we speak, right now, my scientists are working on the Bookinator 800, the first of its kind mobile book protection unit. It will protect the world from bad books where ever they may be found. Upon my honor, book bloggers will NOT have to deal with bad books ever again.

 

B:  Mizzz Gee asks “Do you read?”  And I’ll add “WHAT do you read?”

LL: Nothing is sexier than  a bald man reading a book. Studies prove it in fact. Supergirl herself told me that her fascination with me began when she saw a candid picture of me reclining at lunch reading War and Peace. And honestly, if one does not read, they shouldn’t even think about running for World Book Czar.

As to what I read, first and foremost is the Art of War.  We live in perilous times and knowing your enemy is the best defense. Plus I look REALLY good in a kimono.

 

B:  A Planetary Scale Arms Dealer would like to know “how do the ASC 606 standards for revenue recognition impact your corporate holdings”?

LL:  A good CEO knows everything about his business.  ASC 606 and IFRS 15 replace almost all current revenue guidance, including industry-specific guidance. The new
standards greatly enhance the related quantitative and qualitative disclosure
requirements. They also introduce concepts that don’t exist under the current
revenue recognition model—including many that involve significant judgment,
such as estimating transaction price. I think our accountants began work on this when it was first introduced, so it’s application to our business model won’t disrupt normal work flow procedures, allowing LexCorpt to concentrate on its core business models, thus insuring stability in our stock while other companies might be a bit adrift.

Short answer, it won’t affect us.

I think this type of thing is a great example of why I am the perfect candidate for World Book Czar. I saw this coming, I prepared for it and when the waves of change hit, LexCorp was a bulwark of stability in an ocean of uncertainty. I plan to bring that same stability to the book world.  I promise!

 

*swoosh* *zounds!* *biff* *pow* *whammo* *fwoooooosh*

 

B: And apparently, we are done here. Superman just flew in, arrested Luthor and took him off to jail. Sorry folks but the Wheels of Justice do grind on.

 

The Rest of the Story

Lex Luthor has a lot of experience running things from within prisons, so this little incident does not cut him out of the running.  Remember, a vote for Luthor is a vote for Gillette stock options!

 

Next Month on Meet the Candidate

Next month, I’ll be interviewing Ildico. Most of us know her better as Mrs Attila the Hun. In a completely candid tell-all, Mrs Hun reveals what REALLY happened that final night and why it makes her the only deserving candidate to be World Book Czar.

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So please, feel free to comment here on Luthor’s Interview, but also, if you have questions for Mrs Hun, now is the time and here is the place.

Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.

 

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What’s On My Bookshelf? (Tag)

Norrie tagged me back in December, so I figure I’m doing pretty good to have done this within 3 months. Usually I count on 6, ha!  That being said, I’m always up for showing off my books. Shelfie posts are awesome, but individual covers of real, live books are just scrum-diddly-umptious!

Just to be clear, these are all actual books on my bookshelves. We’re talking genuine rotting tree carcasses here, with chemicals!

 

 

A book or genre I love to read when it’s raining

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The Pool of Fire is the final book in the Tripods Trilogy. A great middle grade series that ends on a very dystopian note. Christopher was not a Utopianist. The gloomy ending is best read on a day that the sun is not shining.

 

A book I wish had illustrations

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The Rook was supposed to be a standalone but its success convinced O’Malley (well, more than likely his publishers) that a second book in the Checquy Files was in order. I would have liked to have seen some of the monsters described in this book.

 

A book that made me emotional

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When I read this back in 2001, the ending just got me right in the feelz. Haven’t had the courage to re-read it for fear that I’ll just roll my eyes now.

 

 

A book that made me laugh

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Good old Rincewind. This SFBC omnibus has the first 2 adventures, The Color of Magic and The Light Fantastic and then 2 more generic Discworld books. I know most people disagree, but I have always found Rincewind to the funniest stuff that Pratchett wrote. After Rincewind he seemed to get a lot more satirical, biting and bitter.

 

An old book

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This is the oldest book I have that has a year on it. I’ve got several other Dickens books that appear to be just as old but don’t have any information inside of them beyond stating they are reprintings from the first edition. Nothing worth any money due to their condition but they sure look cool!

 

A steamy book

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The 4th book in the Green Rider series. I’d waited 3-4 years between each book and while it started out as an awesome fantasy series, it really devolved into a romance writer wish fulfillment thing. This book has some sort of dream sex sequence so I was just done.  Considering that Britain (the writer, not the country) has pretty much let this series dribble down into an unfinished  mess, well, I think I made the right decision. It is a series that will never be finished.

 

A romantic book

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The Queen of Romance and probably the ONLY books I’d voluntarily read with that kind of association.

 

 

A magical book

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The original Earth Sea trilogy.  While Le Guin has written more in this world, it was of completely different tone and style and never caught my fancy. I did think of putting this in the next category, as I read the first one as a pre-teen. But when I think of “magic” my mind springs to Ged and Tennar.

 

A childhood book

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This was my favorite book in 4th grade. Probably a good thing I read an abridged version as I’m not sure I could have handled MacDonald’s wordiness back then.  This was everything a kid could want in a story: a beautiful princess, a brave miner boy, a magical castle, goblins and monsters.

 

A book I got as a gift

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The Cygnet Duology is the book that Mrs B gave me when we first met in real life back in ’06 or ’07.  I gave her the Hobbit. Besides both being dedicated Christians, we’re also both readers. Our idea of a good time is sitting next to each other on the couch reading books. I couldn’t ask for more than that!

 

A library book

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Quite a few of my hardcovers are from libraries.  It is one of the reasons I stopped buying used hardcovers on Amazon. The sellers don’t have to list that it is from a library. A used library book has a ton more crap in it than just a regular used book. Not worth the hassle so now I buy it new unless it is impossible.

 

 

And that sums up that tag post. I’d definitely be interested in seeing books from all of your collections. (hint, hint)

 

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February ’19 Roundup & Ramblings

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Raw Data:

8 Books

2815’ish  Pages

Average Rating – 2.06

 

The Bad:

Everything?

 

The Good:

The Black Pearl – 5 Stars

The Tiger and the Wolf – 4 Stars

 

Movie:

RED was a great movie.  But with a cast starring Willis, Freeman, Mirren and Malkovich (and some others), it would be hard for this movie to have gone wrong.

 

Miscellaneous And Personal:

Well, no manga this month. The Crippled God kicked my legs out from under me, which I knew it was going to do. What I didn’t expect was that the next several books would then proceed to kick me in the ribs while I was down and stomp on my fingers. I just couldn’t bring myself to go read manga in that condition. Thankfully, the month started well and ended well. It was just a pig excrement sandwich in the middle.

That did lead me to writing up a storm but it was just drivel. What else can you call 25 years worth of Star Wars Covers?

Did a Tag of Rage and then calmed down with a nice #6degrees post.

While the month just stank for reading,  on a personal level things went swimmingly. Had enough work, had enough fun and had enough good food. Oh, speaking of food, did the  Survival Saturday post. Sadly, not a very good time.

I was totally attacked by spam comments this month  60-100 “doxycycline” spam comments almost every day. Considering that every single one was aimed at the World Book Czar Intro post, I am wondering if I’ve stirred up a hornets nest among the Powers that Be. I wouldn’t put it past them to hound me with their pet spambots! #thetruthisoutthere #tinfoilhatswork

 

WBCI: (World Book Czar Initiative)

Had the first successful interview with potential World Book Czars. Czar Nicholas II was very friendly and genial but by the end seemed to lack a certain something that a World Book Czar needs, namely, a complete skull without any bullet holes in it! Poor Nicky…

Just remember, in March I’ll be interviewing Lex Luthor, so ask those questions you’ve always had!

 

EMAIL ALERT:

For those of you who follow me through email, I am starting the process of creating all new posts for my old reviews that were lumped together in monthly or yearly posts. I’m starting in 2000 and working my way forward. Please be aware this is happening and take appropriate steps. That is all.

 

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Seiso)

After the NJO, Jacen Solo, aka Darth Cadeus, becomes head of the Galactic Alliance and begins to secretly recruit Ben Skywalker as his apprentice. Ben is having none of it though. Cadeus openly reveals himself as Sith and begins to follow in his Grandfather’s footsteps. Jaina, as Sword of the Jedi, cuts him down like a two dollar box of cardboard. This is the Legacy of the Force.

Next up was Fate of the Jedi. Luke has withdrawn after his complete failure with Jacen and it is up to the other Jedi to keep the Academy running. Unfortunately, Jedi begin going mad on Coruscant and killing until brought down and sedated. Admiral Daala becomes head of the GA and outlaws the Jedi and institutes a hunt that makes Order 66 look like childs play.

Now if certain ideas sound familiar, that is because the new movies stole ideas left and right from the old EU books. Of course, they stole all the crap and produced crap films.  By the end of FotJ, I was done. When a whole planet of Sith was revealed, I just gave up.  Then Lucas Arts announced that the EU books were no longer canon and everything that I had been following was now just fan-fic. Stabbed in the back by Lucas himself.

 

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Traviss keeps her Mando story going. Interesting, until it was simply shut down. Bleh.

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Han and Leia have seen one child die and another turn to the darkside. Oh, and that darksider? He kills Mara, Luke’s wife. What a guy!

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Han and Leia now have to watch their daughter kill their son. How much misery does this poor couple have to endure?

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The Jedi go crazy and Luke and Ben try to figure out why

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Admiral Daala, former Imperial, is now in charge. And a planet of Sith are revealed.

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At this point I don’t remember the storyline, except that all the characters who were meant to carry the Star Wars Torch have fallen by the wayside. Bad writing, bad planning, bad ideas

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The last 3 Star Wars books I bought. Even as I bought them I knew they couldn’t save my interest. A drowning man’s final desperate grasp onto a sinking straw. In other words, doomed to failure.

 

So there you have it folks. 6 days of Star Wars covers. What am I supposed to do with them all? I simply don’t want them any more and worst case, I’ll throw them away. Second worst case is I donate them to a fundraiser my cousin’s stepson regularly participates in. Best case is I sell them for free on Craigslist and score some cash.

Well, whatever. I’m over my reading funk by sheer dint of being bored out of my skull.  Tomorrow I am going to read all day and make a Survival Saturday post. A good book by Adrian Tchaikovsky and some “interesting” food, sounds like a perfect way to spend my Saturday.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Fiveo)

In the deep depths of space, there is only war, continual war…

…..

Oh wait, wrong franchise.

Sadly, someone should have told that to the editors crafting the next series of Star Wars books. The New Jedi Order was 20+ books long and was nothing but the Star Wars Galaxy fighting off an alien invasion. It delved deeply into grim territory. Back in the Correllian Trilogy and other books, Luke and Mara had a son named Ben. Han and Leia had 3 kids, Jacen, Jain and Anakin. These series were meant to pass on the story torch to a new generation. Sadly, hardly one author could do so and the storylines after NJO became even more convoluted and outlandish. The Star Wars torch began to gutter out.

 

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The Yuuhzon Vong invade. They worship pain and are outside the Force

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Also, they are a complete culture of warriors. And Chewie dies.

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Jaina begins her training as Sword of the Jedi while Jacen begins flirting with the Dark Side

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Anakin sacrifices himself and Luke brings the Yuuzhon Vong into the Force

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Bugs and a wicked bad storyline

 

Folks, there was simply nothing good about these books. Redemption was swept aside and carnage, on a planetary scale, was the name of the game. Surely things will get better from here every fan asked…

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Cuatroo)

These books show some of the best of the EU and some of the worst. Writers, while not quite having a blank check, did not have a lot of backstory to worry about or future story to worry about. It was a wide open range and they wrote with all the vigor of a herd of buffalos. Some of the writings smelled like a herd of buffalos had camped too. Win some and lose some I guess.

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We’re keeping the X-Wing books.

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Stackpole wrote well….

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…and Allston wrote funny

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One of these books wa a real stinker. Hint- it wasn’t the one where Han woos Leia…

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Anderson wrote a hack trilogy

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Before there was Mara Jade, there was Callista. She was supposed to be a love interest for Luke. Didn’t work out.

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Only a Star Wars Completist would read either of these!

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Thus the taming of Star Wars was complete

 

After these books, the Star Wars EU entered into real Franchise territory, with large storylines being plotted out by editors and multiple authors taking up the mantle. Honestly, the Powers that Be wanted Star Wars to be edgier, grittier and darker. I feel that these books here, no matter how badly written, still captured the spirit of hope and redemption that was showcased in the original movies. Prepare yourselves for dark times ahead.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Treso)

Ok, it is only Wednesday and I’ve already watched way more Youtube than I ever want to for the rest of my life. I feel like my brain has inhaled whole bottles of spray cheese.

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Poodles are to Dogs what Easy Cheese is to Cheese

Ughh. How do people DO this? I think I’m ready to read just about anything, even a romance! *shudder*

 

Ok, now we are moving on to books immediately surrounding the first movie trilogy, with Luke, Han and Leia taking centerstage, as they should.

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A treso of trilogies. Han Solo Adventures are WAY better than the Han Solo Trilogy

 

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The Han Solo Adventures in individual hardcovers. Written in 1979 and 1980. Awesome baby!

 

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Yoda was BLUE in the novelization. Weird huh?

 

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I call these the Miquels, as they take place in the Middle of the trilogy between the main events

 

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These “Tales” books were good, except for the Bounty Hunter Wars. That was bad.

 

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Quite possibly the worst Star Wars book I ever read.  Tied with The Crystal Star, which will be in another post

Alien reptiles in robot bodies that eat the Force. THAT is the quality of story you got in one of these books. I doubt you have to guess very hard which one. You can’t fake this folks, it really was written about and worked into the now defunct EU canon. This was the beginning of the Wild West Era of Star Wars. Luke smashed moons together, Han flew the galaxy. Leia, well, honestly, she didn’t do a whole lot yet. But don’t worry, her heyday is just around the corner.

 

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