What many of you might have never known is that the world is ruled from the shadows by a powerful Cabal. No, not the Illuminati, you silly, those guys are old hat but by a small and venerable group simply known as the WP4. What this mysterious name stands for no government, no security agency, no corporate assassin, no invisible internet hacker, has ever figured out. Long thought invulnerable due to their inscrutability, the WP4 were nearly torn apart by a mastermind the likes the world has never seen.
Sir Otsy, redubbed as Comrade Otsky, began by recruiting the most powerful of the WP4. How he figured out who this was is anyone’s guess but that is why Comrade Otsky was the founder of Bookshevikism. Once he’d brought a member of the WP4 on board, all was going according to plan. The world would look on in awe as the new philosophy of Bookshevikism became the dominant philosophy by which peoples of all races, nations and languages would live out their lives. Governments would topple, corporations would collapse but nobody would notice under the Iron Rule of Comrade Otsky and the Law of Bookshevikism.
The remaining members of the WP4 were in turmoil. Bereft of their fearless leader and his infamous Love/War Boat, beset by sodding selfies, blue bottoms and impossible movie quizzes, they were stymied. Comrade Otsky gloated, knowing he was unstoppable. Until the mysterious Leader revealed it had been a clever ruse all along. Unleashing the power of the Candyman, Agent X fought like no other force in history. Even still, Comrade Otsky was so powerful that if it hadn’t been for the remaining members of the WP4 uniting together with their Wonder Rings, Bookshevikism would still dominate the world today.
Yes, September was a month to go down in the Secret Annals of History. You can thank your lucky stars that the WP4 rule once again with a benevolent hand, guiding you into the course that is best for you and the world. You are welcome!
While certain details have been omitted to keep the world as stable as possible, the above is as true as any story you see in the newspapers today. Honest.