AVP: Alien vs Predator (2004 Movie)

51vm6677rflAnyone with the reading skills of a 3rd grader could figure out the basic premise of this movie. But just in case there are any first or second graders who read my blog…..

This is a matchup that fans have wanted for years and years. Aliens fighting Predators, who will come out on top? And will Earth survive?

Quick and dirty synopsis. Weyland Industries finds a hidden pyramid in Antarctica and sends in a team to grab all they can before other corporations make their move. Unknown to anyone, the pyramid is a nesting ground for Aliens and a testing ground for young Predators. If the Predators kill the aliens, they get Predator Cred and Big Boy, err Predator, Pants. If they lose, the whole area gets nuked.  Everyone but one woman gets killed and she teams up with the lone surviving Predator to take down the Alien Queen. Predator dies, Alien dies, Human survives. The movie ends with a chest burster Alien coming out of the dead Predator’s chest, with a Predator set of mandibles, so some sort of Predator/Alien hybrid.

For the record, and to my everlasting shame, I own this on dvd. I really enjoyed it the first time I watched back in the day, as the action was almost non-stop. On this re-watch though, every glaring weakness shone as bright as the sun to me.  I don’t even want to get into specifics, as there are just too many and I don’t want to relive them 😦

This was an Action Movie, but even Action Movies don’t have to be brainless fluff. This wasn’t even fluff though, more like dryer lint. Dryer lint after running a whole load of jock straps through the dryer. Just gross. I’m actually tempted to throw this movie into the trash as I am NEVER going to watch it again.

I realize I haven’t said much, but my goodness, this movie just doesn’t deserve having anything being said about it. Except that there was a sequel, which even I acknowledged upon my first watch that it was one of the worst movies I’d ever watched. It made this movie look like an Oscar Nominee.

Next I’m planning on watching UP. Lashaan mentioned it in his Goodbye 2019, Hello 2020 post. I need a movie that will make me feel all the feelz.

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bookstooge (Custom)

29 thoughts on “AVP: Alien vs Predator (2004 Movie)

  1. I also have fond memories. But memories that say to me ‘much like a few of your childhood reads, keep the memories and do not try to re-live’.

    UP is goooooood 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. bormgans says:

    Up will do the trick!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I actually really enjoy this film! I hated AvP2 though-it was seriously bad!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. salonimore1702 says:

    “Up” is an AMAZING movie! I got all teary-eyed within the first ten minutes or so hahaha.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh I loved Up! I hope you like it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ola G says:

    UP is really cool, I can recommend it without any reservations! 😀
    Sorry AvP didn’t work out for you – I remember I didn’t actively hate it, but I definitely didn’t like it much either, just a violent action-packed flick 😉 – and now thanks to your review I don’t intend to ever watch it again! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It really is fun! Honestly though, I haven’t watched it in years, ever since seeing it in that theater with the rowdy crowd I was telling you about. I have a feeling it was one of those “in the moment” things, and I doubt it will be as fun rewatching it again now. Your dryer lint analogy was hilarious though, love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Sometimes the words have a magic all their own and I just type them out 😉

      I would highly recommend AGAINST re-watching this and just let your memories of a good time exist 😀

      Like

  8. I recall watching this when it came out. It was baaaaad.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. savageddt says:

    Yeah, fanboy that i am of alien and predator, i hated this. Everytime there has been a VERSus movie humans get thrown in to. They take over the show. I was offended how main woman who clearly knows nothing still being able to wear an alien skull as a shield and the tail as a sword? Wtf happened to acid for blood? Stupid.

    Up is one of those films that has me teary from start to finish. One of the last animations i watched when my dad was still around. Just thinking of it now gets me started again😖. Goodbye

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have to confess I never watched the original Predator movie – although just a few days ago a friend advised me to fill this horrible gap in my cinematic experience – but this “duel” between monsters sounded lame on paper, and your review seems to confirm it. If I ever decide to watch the Predator movie, I will certainly stop there – thanks for the warning! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Yeh… I rewatched all of the Alien/Predator movies last year and besides Alien, Aliens, and Predator, the rest were bad, and it got worse with each movie. AVP and AVP2 were no exception. I’ll probably never rewatch these sequels again too…

    Glad to hear about UP! Hope it’ll break the man in you. 😉 I’ll probably save it for next month or something myself hahah

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      I think AVP2 is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, at least in terms of wasted potential. It was a teen horror/slasher flick 😦

      I actually didn’t have the courage to watch UP yet. I know that opening scene is going to be tough!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. […] Alien vs Predator was 10,000% worse than my memory of it. My very sensibilities felt violated by all the brainless stupidity. Thankfully, I’m going to be watching Pixar’s UP for February so I know I’m getting a good one. […]

    Like

  13. […] 10+ years seems like enough time and after AVP I needed something good, which Pixar has always […]

    Like

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