B: Thank you Mr Luthor for agreeing to this interview. We’re going to get right down to business and start with some hard questions. I hope you’re ok with that.
LL: Not a problem Bookstooge. If I can’t handle hard questions, not only don’t I deserve to cover up for LexCorp, but I would simply step out of the running for World Book Czar. The Eyes of the World are going to be on that person. Imagine the Media Coverage!
B: Great. Ok, first question from Mrs Baller. “Superman has kryptonite as his weakness, what’s yours?”
LL: *forced jovial laugh* My dear madam, what an absolutely enchanting question. While I try to remain humble, the truth is, I don’t have any. No really, it’s true. That is probably the Number One reason I deserve to be World Book Czar. The Media needs someone who they can admire fully and not feel like sellouts when they do so many glamour shots of me and those “A Day in the Life of..” biopic pieces I’m sure they’ll all be clamoring for.
B: Mr Ichabod asks “Are current fashionistas copying your bald look to emulate you or to try to copy some of your natural good looks?”
LL: Wow, you weren’t kidding about getting right to the hard questions! Mr Ichabod, I salute your courage and obvious integrity for cutting through the fluff. I believe it is a bit of both. Bald is beautiful you know and the media always loves a beautiful candidate. A man can’t just DO the job, he has to look good doing it. Which is why if I am World Book Czar it won’t really be a job for me, but more of a calling.
B: Panda would like to know what you think of your Smallville incarnation in the form of Michael Rosenbaum? I’d like to add a follow up question too. Who do you think played you the best and the worst throughout the movies, tv and cartoons?
LL: Rosenbaum looked GOOD! That one episode where Cassy has a vision of him in the white suit while standing over a mountain of bones turning red? That was classic.
As for others, hmmmm. My least favorite was the cartoon version from Superman: The Animated series. It seemed very clownish to me. I know it won’t be a popular opinion, but I actually rather enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal in Batman vs Superman. The whole hair to non-hair took some gravitas and I feel he carried it off without a hitch.
The World Book Czar is going to be in the Public’s Eye all the time, so the image presented is VERY important.
B: Monkey would like to know why you have this ongoing conflict with Superman She’d also like some tips for getting out of jail and employment opportunities.
LL: *dramatic sigh* Ahh, that old question. The thing is, I do NOT have a problem with Superman, he has a problem with me. I’ve reached out to him time and again to work out our differences but don’t you know, it’s always the same old story. “Truth, Justice, the American Way”, blah, blah and then he gets all morally superior and tosses me in jail. There is just no reasoning with him! When I’m World Book Czar, reasoned discussions amongst warring bloggers is top of my list!
I recommend ♪Lawyers,♪Guns♪and Money♪ for getting out of jail. One of the 3 will always work.
As for employment opportunities I suspect I will need a solid cadre of Yes Monkeys when I become World Book Czar. Contact LexCorp at 555-539-2677 OR email your resume to Lex@Lexcorp.com. Please highlight any super powers you might have and put that at the top. Thank you for your interest and I hope you’ll become a valued member of Team Lex!
B: SavageDave would like to know why you don’t use your brains, wealth and abilities for good?
LL: Oh Bookstooge, this question hurts! It hurts me right here *smacks chest*. Here I am, the only person concerned about an undocumented alien with unregulated power, ruling the earth. Make no mistake, Superman might have a velvet glove, but we all know he is the Man of Steel, not just a fist of steel! Bullets can’t hurt him, tanks he laughs at. If Superman decides that YOU, SavageDave, are a bad person, off to jail you go and there is NOTHING you can do about it. I stand up for the little man. My secret underground science labs are churning out new ideas every day to help protect mankind!
As World Book Czar I will continue that protection. As we speak, right now, my scientists are working on the Bookinator 800, the first of its kind mobile book protection unit. It will protect the world from bad books where ever they may be found. Upon my honor, book bloggers will NOT have to deal with bad books ever again.
B: Mizzz Gee asks “Do you read?” And I’ll add “WHAT do you read?”
LL: Nothing is sexier than a bald man reading a book. Studies prove it in fact. Supergirl herself told me that her fascination with me began when she saw a candid picture of me reclining at lunch reading War and Peace. And honestly, if one does not read, they shouldn’t even think about running for World Book Czar.
As to what I read, first and foremost is the Art of War. We live in perilous times and knowing your enemy is the best defense. Plus I look REALLY good in a kimono.
B: A Planetary Scale Arms Dealer would like to know “how do the ASC 606 standards for revenue recognition impact your corporate holdings”?
LL: A good CEO knows everything about his business. ASC 606 and IFRS 15 replace almost all current revenue guidance, including industry-specific guidance. The new
standards greatly enhance the related quantitative and qualitative disclosure
requirements. They also introduce concepts that don’t exist under the current
revenue recognition model—including many that involve significant judgment,
such as estimating transaction price. I think our accountants began work on this when it was first introduced, so it’s application to our business model won’t disrupt normal work flow procedures, allowing LexCorpt to concentrate on its core business models, thus insuring stability in our stock while other companies might be a bit adrift.
Short answer, it won’t affect us.
I think this type of thing is a great example of why I am the perfect candidate for World Book Czar. I saw this coming, I prepared for it and when the waves of change hit, LexCorp was a bulwark of stability in an ocean of uncertainty. I plan to bring that same stability to the book world. I promise!
*swoosh* *zounds!* *biff* *pow* *whammo* *fwoooooosh*
B: And apparently, we are done here. Superman just flew in, arrested Luthor and took him off to jail. Sorry folks but the Wheels of Justice do grind on.
The Rest of the Story
Lex Luthor has a lot of experience running things from within prisons, so this little incident does not cut him out of the running. Remember, a vote for Luthor is a vote for Gillette stock options!
Next Month on Meet the Candidate
Next month, I’ll be interviewing Ildico. Most of us know her better as Mrs Attila the Hun. In a completely candid tell-all, Mrs Hun reveals what REALLY happened that final night and why it makes her the only deserving candidate to be World Book Czar.
So please, feel free to comment here on Luthor’s Interview, but also, if you have questions for Mrs Hun, now is the time and here is the place.
Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.