RAGE AGAINST THE WHINY PANTS MOMMAS BABIES!! – errrr, The Naughty or Nice Tag

Because I am a responsible adult who goes to work every day on time, pays my bills each month, has a mortgage and generally am a productive member of my society, I have been told I am innately angry and am the source of all problems here in the United States.  Since I’m apparently SO angry, I’m going Full On Hulk Mode on this poor Tag. That will show everyone!

Thank you OrangutanLibrarian for giving me this outlet to vent my out of control rage that threatens to destroy my whole country. A grateful world thanks you!

 

Received an ARC and not reviewed it 

cross-box-clipart

Netgalley is EVIL. Because while the “words” might say you can review and rate however you want, we ALL know if you don’t review enough or positively enough, you’re going to get rejected. R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D-!-!-!  For whiny pants mommas’ babies, nothing is worse than rejection.

I, on the other hand, HAVE reviewed every book I read from Netgalley. But once they used a part of a review of mine, I stopped using them. My reviews are mine, not theirs.

 

Have less than 60% feedback rating on Netgalley 

cross-box-clipart

Pretty much the same answer as above. But honestly, what kind of person doesn’t have enough self-control to NOT request more books when they still haven’t read OR reviewed previous requests? You got it, whiny pants mommas’ babies!

 

Rated a book on Goodreads Devilreads and promised a full review was to come on your blog (and never did) 

cross-box-clipart

A man’s word is his bond. If someone can’t back their word up, they need to shut their piehole instead of deceiving and disappointing everyone who follows them. My only currency I have with online people is what I earn, or squander, relationally.  Somebody makes a promise and then doesn’t keep it? They just overdrew on the Bank of Bookstooge and Lenny the Goon is going to come for them and break their knee caps!

 

Folded down the page of a book 

tick-box

I have done this. Usually when I’ve lost my bookmark at work. Kind of hard to use a twig as a bookmark in the woods. At home, never. There are always bookmark materials around, I just have to not be a lazy git and get off my butt to get one.  Maybe nancy-pants mommas boys are too lazy, but that is why they are still boys.

 

Accidentally spilled on a book 

tick-box

This one, I have to confess, I have and I am so ashamed. I took a LIBRARY paperback book to work and put it in my book bag along with a thermos of iced water. The thermos top came off and soaked the entire book bag and all its contents, including the book. When I dried it out, it fluffed up to about twice its original size. I had to pay for a new book at the library. On top of that, it was an INTER-LIBRARY LOAN!!! Oh the mortification I felt that day. It has left a stain upon my very soul.

 

DNF a book this year 

tick-box

Of course! If someone isn’t dnf’ing books during the year, they’re either lying to themselves or putting up with sub-par drek because they don’t have a spine! I happen to have a spine and my drekometer is getting more and sensitive as the years go by.

 

Bought a book purely because it was pretty with no intention of reading it

cross-box-clipart

This is called buying a piece of art. Instead of being a dumbass, do the tiny bit of work necessary to find out who DREW that cover and then go buy a reproduction of it and hang it on the wall.  Support the artist, make a lonely wall look nice and spare the bookcase from having to support dumb-asseryness.

 

Read whilst you were meant to be doing something else (like homework)

cross-box-clipart

Back in MY DAY, my parents made me do my homework at the kitchen table just so I couldn’t goof off. None of this “working in your room” nonsense.  If someone can’t be bothered to buckle down and do whatever they are supposed to be doing at the moment, good luck keeping your job and getting a mortgage.  Then they get to live in a place run by a slumlord where rats and bedbugs abound! And all because they read when they weren’t supposed to. Let that be a lesson to everyone.

 

Skim read a book 

tick-box

Some authors don’t know when to shut the phrack up and get on with the supposed plot. Or the author is geeking out about Subject G (for Guns, for example) and like a 2 year old, expects everyone else to pay attention to THEIR interests.  Well, nancy pants whiny ass author-san, I don’t CARE. Get a move on!!!

 

Completely missed your Goodreads Devilreads goal

cross-box-clipart

While Netgalley might be evil, Devilreads is the devil incarnate. Devilreads sacrifices babies on little tiny altars every month. Devilreads believes that anyone who doesn’t fall right into their party line loves Hitler. Devilreads steals food from the mouths of hungry aboriginals from the Rain Forests. Devilreads puts lead into milk formula in China. I think you get the picture.

 

Borrowed a book and not returned it to the library

cross-box-clipart

That is STEALING!!! Every single responsible adult in the town/borough/whatever helped pay for that book with their taxes. Money doesn’t grow on magic money trees. It is created when someone works their backside off.

So if anyone EVER admitted to stealing a library book, I’ve got a dull spoon JUST FOR THEM!

 

Broke a book buying ban

cross-box-clipart

I’ve never had to institute a book buying ban. Because things like my mortgage, taxes, etc come first. Oh yeah, that little thing known as the grocery bill too. Huh, go figure.  I don’t have a magic refrigerator or a magic pantry that “magically” refill themselves.  So I buy books when I can afford them.  It is called being fiscally responsible. The lack of being fiscally responsible is what did Greece in and will eventually do the United States in.  But I won’t be a contributor to that downfall.

 

Started a review, left it for ages then forgot what the book was about

tick-box

Once or twice. Which is why I now write my reviews within 3-5 days finishing the book. Otherwise, why did I read it?

 

Wrote in a book you were reading 

tick-box

This is complicated. I am not an advocate of writing in books in general. However, there are times and there are books where it is the whole reason.

When Mrs B and I were courting we read a duology of books called “Just for Women” and “Just for Men”. We read the appropriate one for us and marked the heck out of the book. Questions, comments, thoughts, etc. Then we traded books and read the other book with an eye towards answering all the writings by the other. It made for a very good time and helped us learn a lot about the other gender that we simply had no idea about.

 

Finished a book and not added it to your Goodreads Devilreads

cross-box-clipart

I don’t use Devilreads but when I use similar services I always add the book to my collection.  What’s the point otherwise? I know why people do it, because they’re shallow, vain, self-centered gits who can’t do ANYTHING without wondering what others think of them. But I read and review for myself so I want to be as honest as I can in a public forum.

 

Borrowed a book and not returned it to a friend

tick-box

Yes, when I was 10 I borrowed one of the Little House on the Prairie books from my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Rick. They lived 6+ hrs away at the time and never saw that book again as far as I know. I can’t look them in the eye to this very day 😉

 

Dodged someone asking if they can borrow a book

cross-box-clipart

“No”. Say it with me now. “No”. See, it’s not that hard. If someone asks to borrow a book, a simple “no” suffices.  Lilly-livered pansy-panted wussy cowards are the ones who dodge.

 

Broke the spine of someone else’s book

cross-box-clipart

If I did that, I would buy them a new book. I wouldn’t walk up to a friend and break THEIR back, now would I? (that WAS a rhetorical question by the way) So why would I feel it was ok to do the same to their books?  What kind of monster inspired a question like this?  Howza ’bout I come over and smash somebody’s car window? Huh, huh? That’s what I’d do to anyone who broke the spine on one of my books.

 

Took the jacket off a book to protect it and ended up making it more damaged

tick-box

I JUST did this. I was reading Hogfather at work and kept the book in my bookbag (no thermos’s this time) and wanted the jacket off so it wouldn’t get torn. Well, I put it on my end table ……. and promptly put a full plate of food on it that night. The cover was as crushed as my dreams for being World Book Czar

 

Sat on a book accidentally 

tick-box

I do this quite often to my physical books. I’ll put it down on the seat of the van at lunch and then sit on it at the end of the day when we’re heading back. Thankfully, I NEVER leave a book open so I have not damaged a book by sitting on it. Chances are my bum takes more damage than the book.

 

 

Well, 9 out of 20 checkmarks means I am on the Good List. The World is safe. My Rage has Manifested and now I can go back to being mild mannered Bruce Banner.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

 

 

Advertisements

40 thoughts on “RAGE AGAINST THE WHINY PANTS MOMMAS BABIES!! – errrr, The Naughty or Nice Tag

  1. YouKneeK says:

    LOL, fun post. I think I can only check off four of the boxes and that includes “Accidentally spilled on a book” which I don’t specifically remember doing, but I surely must have spilled something on some book in the last 43 years.

    On the other hand, I maybe should have put two or three checks in the “Read whilst you were meant to be doing something else” checkbox. I did that ALL the time as a child. I read when I had homework to do. I read under the covers with a flashlight when I was supposed to be sleeping. I read in class with the book hidden half inside my desk and/or inside my class textbook. However, I’d like to report that I have a pretty good job, and I own a rat-and-bedbug-free home. 😉 From my first job when I was 15, I always took work way more seriously than I took school and I worked circles around my peers. Those people paid me though, whereas my teachers refused to give me any money for sitting through their boring, stupid lectures. :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Hahahaha. This whole comment just made me laugh 😀
      I always liked school and most of my homework, so I had no incentive to sneak in reading. I also am realizing that my “reading as a full time hobby” didn’t develop until I was in bibleschool.
      I’m pretty sure I never read a book in class because the punishment would be dire, like having the book taken away for a week. That’s pretty tough!

      Amazing how money motivates us, isn’t it? Way to go on not turning into white trash! but you have a cat, so I’m not sure how much credit YOU can take for having a rat free house 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • YouKneeK says:

        Hmm… good point about the cat. He *could* be eating all the rats and hiding their bones somewhere. However, as the responsible human who chose to bring him into my home, and who ensures he is fed and watered, and who keeps his litter box clean so he doesn’t revolt, and who pays for ridiculous quantities of toys to try to keep him entertained, I think I should get some credit! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. H.P. says:

    I am right at 60% on NetGalley so I’m glad to know I’m cool.

    You know who else folds down pages in their books? Communists. Time to report yourself for reeducation, comrade.

    It’s always good to know a man doesn’t get his kicks disrespecting our library system.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bookstooge says:

      WHAT?!? I’m a communist? Forget re-education comrade, this calls for extermination!
      *gunshot*

      Ahhh, Bookstooge, what a valiant man of principle he was. We shall remember him fondly. LONG LIVE PATRIOT BOOKSTOOGE! Freedom Fighter Extraordinaire….

      Netgalley was always about the new books, so that also helped cut down on my desire to request stuff. And even half the new stuff I wanted was UK only, so I never got a Neal Asher for me 😦

      That Seinfeld never fails to amuse me 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha loved this post! Glad you got an opportunity to vent. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OMG you’re take down of people reading when they should be doing something else was awesome and also automatically made me feel guilty lmao. I’m great at that. I mean, I go to work and pay my mortgage and bills so I guess if I let the dishes sit for an hour longer, no harm, no foul. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Norrie says:

    Lol! 😂
    I’d be terrified of accidentally destroying a library book…
    The breaking the spine of a friend thing made me snort. So true tho.

    How did they use your review btw?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Oh, nothing nefarious or anything. A book by Tad Williams, when it was printed, had a bunch of little “review” blurbs and one of them happened to be mine. It made me realize that NG wasn’t kidding when they said they could use any part of a review of a book from them. I didn’t complain (at the time) because it WAS part of the rules but after that I stopped using NG. I don’t like my reviews being used outside of my direct control…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. hahaha this was marvellous!! 😂😂 Although I feel your shame about a bottle leaking in my bag over a library book- THE SHAME (I actually never told the library- I went and bought a new copy in the same edition and just switched it- they didn’t notice and I still have a severely damaged, unreadable copy of little women somewhere 😂😂) hehehe I can relate about the drekometer getting more sensitive 😉 That seems like a sensible way to get to know the other gender (I’ll confess, men are still a complete mystery to me lol!) Ahh that always seems to happen with book covers you’re trying to protect, doesn’t it?! Brilliant post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Bwahahaha, I confess when it comes to NetGalley I’ve gone on binges and requested like a drunken sailor on more occasions than I’d like to admit. However, I’m also pretty proud of the 90% reviewed to requested ratio I’ve maintained since I started my account.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Good job.

      Sadly, the fact that you’ve been responsible probably means you have super repressed rage and are the sole problem of the entire world! Man, I thought I had it bad, but the whole world? Grrrrllll, you need some help 😉

      Like

  8. ROTFLMAO on “Devilreads”!!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. […] Bookstooge, Lucinda, Rivermoose, Journey into Books, Modern Witch, Naty, *May Contain Spoilers*, Starry Sky Books, Cade, Roaring Bookworm and Keira […]

    Like

  10. H.P. says:

    Hmmm, I’m going to need a ruling from the Bookstooge on this one. Innovative way to get people reading or are the Millennials at it again? https://blazemichigan.com/welcome

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      A nihilistic generation needs drugs, sex and entertainment to keep it from imploding. When one grows up being told they are worthless clods of dirt, ie Evolution and that there is no God and there is no meaning, the link you provided is the natural outgrowth.

      Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die. And if we don’t die, well, we’ll kill ourselves once we realize how ultimately empty the first phrase is.

      Sorry, didn’t mean to go so dark. But recreational drug use is a sign of a whole generation that has lost its way.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Darren Jones says:

    I am so telling Uncle Rick and Aunt Kathy!

    I have several books that I’ve lent out and not gotten back. In general, that’s not a problem, but there was a nice version of “With Fire and Sword” by Sienkiewicz that’s out of print now that I wish I still had.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nicole says:

    LOL, I’m glad you had a safe way to manifest your rage. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  13. savageddt says:

    Not a too bad rep czar! I believe idve failed this one by far

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I can’t believe that you’ve never read while you were supposed to be doing something else. That claim has now convinced me you must be a brilliant speed-reader extraordinaire, otherwise how else would you be able to plow through the number of books you do each year. Or perhaps you have a maid, butler and chauffeur that we don’t know about …. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  15. StackingMy BookShelves says:

    Funny post – according to this post – I really suck at life and need crawl into a hole and die – like now. =)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s