Motorcycles VERSUS Scooters

Folks, this shouldn’t even be a post that I have to write about. However, it has come to my attention that there are genuine adult males, not men, but adult males,  who think that scooters are cool, more cool than motorcycles.  Before I give my very pointed and genuine opinion on THAT, let’s look at some pictorial evidence.




The above is a Suzuki Boulevard S40. That is the motorcycle I owned from ’05 til ’08 when I had to sell it to buy a car for Mrs B when we got married and she moved cross country to the Free’est State in the Union. It is a little bike. I’m only 5’3″ (160cm for you Illuminati types) and I could flat foot it with both feet. However, it was a 650cc engine, so when I was on the highway, I could give that baby the throttle and BAM, I was going 80mph (about 130kph) in seconds.  Motorcycles only get bigger and more powerful from there. This cost me about 5 G’s back in the day.




This is a Vespa GTS 300, a brand name scooter. You can’t ride this on the highway legally here. You do need a MOTORCYCLE license though. It is about a 280cc.  It costs about 7 G’s.




Dwayne Johnson, better known as the Rock, on his motorcycle. Definitely not wearing Bookstooge approved footwear for riding, but we’re working on that.





An attractive young lady on a scooter. Well, except for those shoes.  I never have, and never will, understand the fascination with high heels.


Scooters have their place and virile, strong and manly men CAN ride them. Gregory Peck showed us all the truth of that in Roman Holiday.  So, if you are ever in Rome and secretly dating a princess, you ride that scooter!

Roman Holiday 3 (Medium)


But other than that, if you have any of the sense that God gave you and you just have to get on 2 wheels, get a phracking motorcycle! A motorcycle will show just what kind of man you actually are.  A motorcycle is dangerous and thrilling and you HAVE to be in control of that bike at all times, aware of everything around you, or you’ll end up dead, a hood ornament on some oversized SUV and be a byline on the 6 o’clock news. You will never be more alive though than when you are driving around on it.

So who wins in this VERSUS post? Need you even ask?


Motorcycles for the Win!



bookstooge (Custom)



38 thoughts on “Motorcycles VERSUS Scooters

  1. Zezee says:

    😮 Alright. I’m not a guy, but I think scooters are okay, but cool? Nah man. I love me some motorcycles. Always have, even as a kid when I took a ride on a scooter and thought there must be something better. There was – my neighbor’s bike.
    Can’t wait to get a bike license.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. savageddt says:

    Im not a great speed fan nor of motorcycles, they scare me… i do have a lot of respect for those that can ride and dont ride like dicks. Closest to a motorcycle ill get is a 4wheeler

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Yeah, riders being jerks. That’s a real issue too, sadly. Every time I’m on the highway and see someone weaving in and out of traffic, I just think to myself “Well, he’s going to be a road pancake some day” 😦

      Last time I rode on a 4wheeler was way back in ’06 I believe and it was for work. We had a mile long hike (about 1.6K) to get to the job in the woods and we just couldn’t carry all the equipment that far and then work all day. So our boss rented a 4wheeler to haul it all. Kind of took all the fun out of it, you know?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Joelendil says:

    When I moved to Southen Indiana I started seeing little scooters EVERWHERE. Eventually figured out that if you lost your license to DUI you could still get a sprecial license to operate a scooter with very limited cc

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bookstooge says:

      yeah, most states require a lesser license or no license for anything under 100 or 50cc I believe.

      I’ve got a lot to say on the subject of dui too, but I don’t think the comments section is the right place for it 🙂


  4. H.P. says:

    Have you ever seen a dog riding on the back of a motorcycle across a busy intersection in Hanoi? No? I rest my case.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Matt Cowper says:

    Motorcycles are for retired folks trying to (foolishly) rekindle that long-lost youthful energy and wanderlust.

    Scooters are for people who lost their “real” driving license, or for those irksome “trendy” folks who drive their scooty-bo-booty half-ironically.

    A real Man drives a pickup with a massive diesel engine, and blares that engine at every opportunity.

    At least, that’s what the rednecks around here do. Surely they’re the world authority on manliness? Or am I mistaken for putting so much faith in them?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Matt Cowper says:

      By the way, Bookstooge, you now have exactly 300 followers.

      Surely this merits a chest-beating, foot-stomping, hollering celebration?

      I think a “300” movie GIF would work well for 300 followers: “MADNESS? THIS…IS…BOOKSTOOGE!”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Well, depends on just what kind of motorcycle you’re talking about. Honda Goldwings, I’ll definitely give you that retired one. But a ninja? I’d like to see anyone but a 25year old stay hunched over on those things for more than 30minutes

      Funny you should mention loss of license, as Joelendil mentioned the same thing.

      As for pickups, well, only the guys who need them are real men. The rest are just posers 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t think scooters would EVER win in 2018. Motorcycles all the way, even though I’d rather drive a car. And that last exhibit looked like a Batcycle. I’d totally want to own something like that. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Yeah, I wouldn’t want to drive a motorcycle anymore either. They are just so dangerous and people in cars just don’t see them. I had 3 years with no accidents, so I was ok with stopping with that record 🙂


  7. As a city dweller I believe that scooters are perfect for moving in traffic: they are lighter, more agile, and I guess more maneuverable. Motorcycles are better for trips OUT of the city, and the attached taste of adventure…

    Liked by 3 people

    • Bookstooge says:

      Yeah, I wouldn’t want a motorcycle with a clutch in city traffic with lights every block or two. You’d wear your knee out in about a year. A manual transmission car is bad enough 😀


  8. Nicole says:

    LOL, there really is no contest. Scooters have their place and purpose, but they’re not nearly as cool as motorcycles. (Not that I ride either of them, mind you.)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I am seriously scared of motorcycles, because my mom and aunt both had accidents on them. And one of our neighbours ended up breaking his back. I know accidents happen everywhere…but nah.. I stay away from them. And Mr. DZ is not into them either, fortunately.

    I would overcome my fear to ride with The Rock though… ehem..

    I thought Scooters were cool and not that dangerous. But then I went to Bali and it was SCOOTER MAYHEM. No thanks, I stick to my lovely reliable German car.

    Stay safe! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Yep, 2 wheels is not safe. Which is why I’ve never been tempted to go back to a motorcycle since I married Mrs B. I can’t control what jerks in cars do and on a motorcycle, you’re toast. So now I stick with a Subaru 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. BrokenTune says:

    I love the Suzuki and motorcycles over scooter every time, except for when in Italy. I’ve considered getting a licence, too, but up here we get a lot of rain and our term for motorcyclist is “organ donors”, so …

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Norrie says:

    Scooters are cute, bikes are cool. That said, i’d have a near death experience on either of them, so yeaaaa, no thank you 😀
    I’m also 160 and i was under the impression that i’m 5’2″… admittedly these sizings make no sense to me whatsoever 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m surprised this post was needed, but I did find it very entertaining. Of course motorcycles for the win.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      It came from a conversation I had with one of the guys my brother hung out for a while. He was talking about how cool scooters were. Since I was the guest of my brother, I couldn’t say what was really on my mind. So I saved it for a year.
      Kind of marinated it in the sauces of my deep bitterness 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. […] VERSUS went right along with the Mano A Mano post I did. Testosterone was flowing like blood in a Tarantino film this month. Of course, neither of them was as ridiculous(ly fun to write) as the Saint Bookstooge Gives Answer post where I answered your questions. My goodness, the questions I got were so much fun that I just HAD to give vent to complete silliness. […]


  14. A bike? Naa. That’s not a bike… Now that’s a BIKE haha.


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