Life Advice…w/ Dr. Bookstooge

dr_mario_trust_me_im_a_doctor_meme_by_sonic171000-db6d563

 

It’s one of those kind of days.  I’ve got diarrhea of the brain and fingers, so I’ve got a ton of nonsense just waiting to explode onto the screen.

 

My first piece of advice, to anyone, male, female, tall, short, smart or stupid, is to not have parents. Any problem you might have, it can be avoided by simply not having parents.  Now, if you’re reading this, you’ve obviously ignored this piece of advice. Don’t worry, 100% of people who come to me for advice have ALSO ignored this advice. You are not alone in this.

evangelion_by_gaarakazekague

(Of course, if you’re listening to that song by Michael Jackson, well, you get what you deserve, in my professional medical opinion)

 

Most people, when they come to me for Parental Pod advice, ask me what they can “do” about their problem.  The thing is, as I shake my wisely visage and appear sympathetic, is to deconstruct the thinking behind that “do”.  Most people don’t realize that Parental Pods (will be referred to as PP’s from hereon in) are also people too. Yes, you heard that right. Most other doctors don’t subscribe to this idea, but if you carefully examine the evidence, you’ll see that I, Doctor Bookstooge, am right. Not just a little bit right, but COMPLETELY right. I call this groundbreaking theory, Parental Pods are People Too, or PPaPT to keep things snappy. My clients like it when I use acronyms. Lets them know that I’m hip with the jiving lingo that the kids use today. Now, if those same kids would just stay off my lawn, we’d be all set.

The second thing to realize is since PPaPT applies, this means that every mood, feeling and thought you have, they also apply to the PP in question. Are you a stubborn jackass sometimes? Are you an opinionated, hotheaded loudmouth? Well, I hate to break it to you, but your PP were those things first. This makes them much more experienced in such things.  Accept the fact that you can’t be more “X” than your PP.

matt-smith-point-death-of-the-doctor

Yes, this post applies to you too, you stubborn, hotheaded, opinionated, loudmouthed jackass.

 

My final advice to most patients suffering from one form of PP or another, is that they can’t actually do anything about it.  It once again comes down to our PPaPT philosophy here at Dr McBookstooges Inc.  We believe that most cases of PP just need to run their course, kind of like the man-flu.

bcc7c880f136f71c5605bbdac3519986

 

And I believe that is probably all the medical advice that needs to be packed into one post. Any more and readers would start losing their minds and begin worshipping me as a veritable dynamo of divine wisdom.

 

bookstooge (Custom)

Advertisements

24 thoughts on “Life Advice…w/ Dr. Bookstooge

  1. Hahaha I am a PP.. wait. That sounds well 🤔😂 I will remind my children it just has to run its course.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. savageddt says:

    Reminds me of a poem by Phillip Larken thats called kids. Starts with the opening line “they fuck you up these parents do…”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good advice- better make sure I stay prescribed for more Dr Bookstooge remedies 😉 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. YouKneeK says:

    Very sage advice.

    I’ve found that distance mitigates the symptoms of PP Flu somewhat. Another handy trick is to not answer e-mails too quickly. In most cases, if somebody e-mails me, I respond as soon as I’m able to, often right away. If I do that with my mom, I get two e-mails back right away. If I answer those two, I get four e-mails. You get the picture. I usually wait at least 24 hours before answering any PPE’s and I try to consolidate my replies where possible to keep the multiplication issue under control. Of course, if you have a PPP (Parental Pod Phone) problem, things get more difficult. I’m pretty lucky on that count.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bookstooge says:

      For some reason, this went into spam. You’d think that Akismet would do a better job. Oh well…

      I concur. Distance is a great mitigator. Probably one of the main reasons Mrs B and I get along as well as we do with both sets of parents. It also helps that we’re once a month callers. We just don’t need more than that 🙂

      As for the PPPP, that would be a serious problem. I’d probably have to charge you extra to solve that one. But since you’re such a good client, I’ll throw this one as a freebie.
      Throw your phone away.

      Problem solved! 😀 😀 😀
      (and everyone thinks that that fake Dr Phil is so great, hmmmphhhh)

      Liked by 1 person

      • YouKneeK says:

        I was wondering what happened, but I decided that maybe I was so tired I hit F5 instead of clicking “Post Comment”. Then I decided, if I was that tired, it was a good thing that whatever I typed didn’t post. 😉

        It’s fortunate I don’t have a PPPP because your advice would probably get me fired and then I’d have an OOWP (out of work problem). 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Bookstooge says:

          I check my spam comments daily now, because this has happened before. I can’t see a rhyme or reason to why it happens though.

          Yeah, I’m a specialist. I’m not worried about the broader implications of my prescriptions. And hurray for Acronyms!!!! 😀

          Liked by 1 person

          • YouKneeK says:

            Ha, no doubt you’d get some sort of kick-back for referring me to an OOWP specialist. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

            • Bookstooge says:

              I have to be more careful about kickbacks now. Do gooder regulators, you know?

              On a side note. I know I haven’t been commenting much on your recent reviews at LT, but I’m still reading your reviews. Talking about GGK or Thomas Covenant, not happening 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

              • YouKneeK says:

                I appreciate that you read/comment on my thread at all considering you aren’t maintaining your own thread there anymore! I’m the worst when it comes to making regular comments on other people’s threads, so I definitely don’t expect comments on everything.

                Liked by 1 person

  5. […] Zezee, Nel, Kat, Bookstooge, and Lashaan and Trang […]

    Like

  6. Manuel Antao says:

    It can be objectively shown that man flu slows the flow of time… Do men really make more of a fuss about being ill?! In reality, men go to the doctor less and die sooner so the evidence points the other way from the stereotype! Judging by trains and tubes, a lot of men go in to work with a cold every day. I’ve actually not seen any data that suggests men are less likely than women to work with a cold – my guess is this is just another sexist stereotype.The reason I never have a day off work is because if I did, there’s about twenty things that “need” doing that I’d be expected to have done. It’s much better to go to work and generally not do anything. I’ll get some sympathy at work as well…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Anonymous says:

    I was absolutely on the donkey”s side until it started acting like a jackass.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. […] The month started well with Resurrection Day, then quickly devolved with some twit being an Idiot on Twitter and ended up just being Plain Silly. […]

    Like

  9. PPaPT sounds super cool though. I want to get labeled that! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Well, when you have your own little Lashaan Jr, you can sing him to sleep at night to the wonderful words “Just remember, little bag of poop, I’m a person too” and maybe by the time they’re a teen and older, it will have sunk in 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Manflu is a very serious disease… 😛

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s