Surviving a Bad Book – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

coverPride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith.

Let me be unequivocally clear about 2 things in regards to this book.

1) I am a HUGE fan of Jane Austen. I have read all her works, even her originally unpublished stories.

2) This is pure trash. I don’t mean popcorn bad for you trash, but full on pedophile serial rapist bad.

 

Yes, I hate this book with a passion. In fact, I hate this whole Quirk Classics line. Taking great literature and boiling it down to a lowest common denominator is wrong. It is like putting a mustache and devil horns on the Mona Lisa and then claiming that you’re helping modern kids to appreciate real art. I’m not usually a book snob, seeing as how I’m primarily invested in the SFF side of things, but this, it outraged me. YOU DON’T DO THIS.

When I first read and reviewed this, I read a couple of other reviews and had to hold myself back from calling down curses and imprecations on the heads of those idiots who were praising this puerile filth. Praising it!

I’ve seen other Quirk Classic books since and have had no desire to read them. Not even to read them to bash the ever living daylights out of them. I don’t need to read them to know they’re bad just like I don’t need to eat a plate full of manure to state that it tastes bad.

I’m not actually sure I really survived this. It’s been 7 years and even now, reading my old review, I get in a rage. I think this book got the better of me and wounded me beyond help. Man down, man down, MEDIC!!!

*gurgle, cough, spasms, dying breath*

bg

Bookstooge, he was a good man. Just one more casualty in the War on Literature.

 

bookstooge

 

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62 thoughts on “Surviving a Bad Book – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

  1. I didn’t think the movie was too bad… *hides in a bush*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Damn, I was hoping that maybe it would be funny. I got a copy at the library sale, at least it was less than a dollar.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. hahaha I love the way you described this!! And yes, it is trash- I only ever read the first chapter because it came out the year we were studying Pride and Prejudice in school and my teacher thought it might be a good example of parody… obviously she was wrong 😉 I *HATE* shitty versions of classics- the only reasons this isn’t higher up on my hate list is a) cos I only ever read the first chapter, like I said and b) I’ve read some really really godawful remakes (Nutshell, Dorian… etc) So yeah, I can really relate- because this is very much like drawing a moustache on the mona lisa!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Sometimes teachers make REALLY BAD decisions. Sounds like your teacher did. At least you survived that chapter. I didn’t make it through the whole book. I wish I had noted at what point I gave up back then, as I sure can’t remember now.

      This book is one of the reasons I tend to not read retellings/remakes. No one likes a hairy Mona Lisa!

      Liked by 1 person

      • hahaha it really wasn’t the worst decision- it was an experiment since we’d already finished the syllabus. I just remember when she looked round the room at the end of reading it and asked “soooo is anyone interested in reading the rest of this?” The look on all my classmates faces was a clear “hell no!”
        hahahaha 😂😂 Too true! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I do agree with you it was not really as good as it seemed. Honestly when I first heard about it I was super excited but then I opened the book and discovered a super feminist Lizzy and a weak Darcy, why quirk books, why? Also the plot line is pretty boring you don’t see the use of zombies in the story they only make brief apparitions…. Words of caution do not mix Buffy and Lizzy they are both great but on their own…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Hey, good to see you again! You’ve been gone over a month from your blog. I trust everything is ok?

      It was poor execution coupled with the mangling of one of my favorite books that induced the Hulk [Literary] Rage.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hey again ^^ work was kind off crazy with Christmas approaching (I swear when you work in a bookshop Christmas sound like an army of goblins invading Gondor …) so I had to put the blog on hold a bit but I am back 😀 how are you besides slightly put off by mix of romance and zombies ?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hahaha this review made me laugh so hard! 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I refuse to read anything like this. I am not a huge Jane Austen fan but I respect what she did for the craft of writing. I’m an author, myself. Any bastardising of original ideas is offensive to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. HCNewton says:

    Bookstooge, can you show me on this doll where Seth Grahame-Smith hurt you?

    Seriously, not an Austen fan, but listening to an interview with the top dog at Quirk a couple of ago got me semi-interested in it, but I never bothered. Know I won’t now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Hahahahaha! He touched me, right in the feelz!!!

      I’m trying to think of a book that I wouldn’t mind this treatment being given to and even Hardy doesn’t deserve it. And I really am not a fan of him.

      Yeah, save yourself the waste of time it would be.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. When I first discovered this line of books that turned classics into… these jokes, I couldn’t believe it was a thing. I haven’t read them, but I couldn’t imagine myself taking them seriously.. ever..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. “It is like putting a mustache and devil horns on the Mona Lisa…” This describes exactly how I feel about these classic mashups and is the main reason why I don’t really read them. And if that makes me sound like a book snob, then so be it 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. @lynnsbooks says:

    I haven’t read this and at the back of my mind I always wanted to – just to see what the crack was – maybe not now after reading this. Don’t want to graffiti the Mona Lisa after all. I have read some retellings and enjoyed them, well, not so much retellings as revisiting from a different angle/pov. Longbourn by Jo Baker was quite good – told from the servants perspective, although it did take a few liberties – particularly with Mr Bennet.
    Lynn 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Did you read my original review [the link right at the beginning] from ’10? That sums up the content pretty well, sadly. Not so much a retelling as a complete gutting, right down to the spinal cord.

      I just don’t see how anyone can justify the time spent on this trash. Writing OR reading 😀

      I’m not even trying to be objective here, just in case you couldn’t tell 🙂

      Like

  11. Tyson Adams says:

    We have this one on our shelves. My wife wanted to throw it away (not sell it or give it away, bin it) because she hated it. She is also an Austen fan. I didn’t let her because I wanted to read it, and am yet to get to it. I’m sensing this may have been a mistake…. Oh, and the movie of it was unwatchable rubbish.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      Good for Mrs Tyson! I wholeheartedly agree with her, obviously 🙂
      I couldn’t believe that they made a movie. I’ve never heard anything about it, so I figured it kind of wandered off into obscurity.

      So another vote to chuck the book into the garbage. To show how thankful you are for all the good books out there 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I saw the movie they made out of this and “meh!” was the kindest comment I could offer, so I knew I might never read the book: now that I’ve seen your post, that’s become a certainty! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. […] Pride and Prejudice and Zombies  By the time I was done writing about this, I’d come to the conclusion that I really hadn’t survived this book. Still frothing with righteous indignation after all these years. […]

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  14. H.P. says:

    Have you read any of the “mannerpunk” books like the Glamourist Histories or Sorcerer to the Crown?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      I have not. The reviews I read for “Sorcerer to the Crown” led me to the impression that I wouldn’t enjoy it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • H.P. says:

        I loved it. (My review is below.) If you’re going to try something like that, I would start with Sorcerer to the Crown. It is better than any of the Glamourist books (which get better as they go, so start off somewhat weak). The other big one, of course, is Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, but I haven’t read it. I also haven’t read any actual Austen, so you should probably take all of this with a grain of salt (Kowal, at least, uses a database of every word in every Austen novel to help keep her books as close stylistically as possible.)
        https://everydayshouldbetuesday.wordpress.com/2015/09/02/review-of-sorcerer-to-the-crown-by-zen-cho/

        Liked by 1 person

        • Bookstooge says:

          And that is what turned me off the most, the comparisons to Strange and Norrel. I hated that book even though on the surface I should have been drooling over it.

          And part of the problem is the whole artificial styling. I like that Dickens, Austen, etc, wrote like they did. But I want writers of today to WRITE like writers of today, even if I complain about it.

          Will check out your review…

          Liked by 1 person

  15. saloni says:

    I was going to read this book because it’s PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!! But now, I’m probably not going to. I don’t want it to ruin the original for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Creepy Shelby says:

    Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. “It is like putting a mustache and devil horns on the Mona Lisa and then claiming that you’re helping modern kids to appreciate real art.”

    I love your metaphor! Haha! When you put it that way I feel kind of bad that I actually kind of liked it back when I first read it. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Jane Austen fan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bookstooge says:

      In all honesty, I wouldn’t peg me as an Austen fan either. I can barely tolerate romance in the books I read, even the hint of it, much less the drama’y kind that the likes of Lindsay Buroker writes.
      But Austen, I’ll eat it up with a spoon. I don’t know if it is because of the “classic” monniker or something else, but I do love her books 😀

      So, when you read this piece of work, had you already read P&P, or did it compel you to seek out the original?

      Like

      • I had already read P&P so that’s why I think I kinda liked Zombies at the time and took it as a funny parody. Maybe not a good one but I found it entertaining haha.

        I’ve been wanting to read more Austen but at the rate I’m going I don’t think it’ll be soon.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. […] Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, which I covered in a SaBB post or Walden & Civil Disobedience by Thoreau. Thoreau made me so […]

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  19. […] with A History of…Reading and only beat out by my rant on that execrable piece of trash, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I guess honesty  still pays dividends in the  book […]

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