♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Doso)

Since the last couple of reads I’ve had just plain stank, I’m taking a week long break from reading and posting reviews. I’m wasting my time on Youtube, so that I can feel ever so superior once I stop next week and posting book covers to keep my blog alive.

Self-Righteous Nihilism without apology. And anger. Because Star Wars used to be great (even if the stories were terrible, and let me tell you, some of them were B-A-D!!!!!) and now it’s drunk and puking in the gutters, begging for spare change from any passing stranger. Even Forgotten Realms has more dignity these days.

So hearken back with me to the glory days when we all thought Star Wars could be great again.

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Traviss could write, but man, did she hate the very idea of the Jedi and she let that hatred shine on through in her writing

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Half of these books were pretty good and the other half really stank

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The novelization of the Revenge of the Sith was probably one of the best Star Wars books I have ever read. If the movie had been half as good, it would have been the best Star Wars movie anyone had ever seen

 

And this brings us up to the Infamous Episode 3.  That movie was a dagger in the heart of a lot of fans. Not the story necessarily, but the poor acting, poor writing and poor directing. Lucas is squarely to blame.  It took a lot of “I love Star Wars” for me to buy some of these back in the day.

 

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♪How do you solve a problem ♪like♪ Star Wars♪? (Parto Uno)

What with having 4 books in a row just be beyond stinkers, I’m taking a break from reading for a week.

I used to be a huge star wars fan. But that fandom began its death back in ’12 or so and its death throes happened when I watched The Force Awakens. I had been collecting Star Wars books ever since the 90’s though and continued to buy them in hardcover from the Science Fiction Book Club up until I bought  Kenobi near the end of ’13.  I have accumulated a lot of Star Wars novels, with most of them being in hardcover. They take up 3 shelves, double stacked, on one of my book shelves and honestly, it is time for them to go. Mrs B wants to keep the X-Wing books as they are just good adventure stories, star wars or no star wars.

I don’t know what to do with them all now. So before I make any decisions, I’m just going to do a couple of posts showcasing them all so if I ever feel regret once they’re gone, I can simply look at these posts and be all good.

 

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From the very failed Old Republic video game novel tie-ins

 

 

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Darth Bane Trilogy

 

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Prequels leading up to Episode One aka The Phantom Menace

 

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All 4 variant covers for Episode One.

 

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Prequels leading up to Episode Two, aka Attack of the Clones

 

 

 

I’ve tried to group my books together by Era, which seems the best way. I believe it is all chronological, but with them no longer being canon, who knows.  14 books, with about 90+ more to go. Hope you all like Star Wars covers 😉

 

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#worldbookczar Candidate: Czar Nicholas II

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Today’s candidate: Russian Czar Nicholas II

 

 

B: Glad to have you with us today, Czar Nicholas II. Do you mind if I call you Nicky? It sets a more informal atmosphere and helps the readers to connect with you on a more personal level.

N: Not at all, Gospodin Bookstooge. Forgive me, but I simply can’t help but call such a distinguished gentleman as yourself anything less formal. This royal upbringing, you understand, da?

 

B: No worries Nicky, You do what you have to. Now, onto the questions. We’ll start out with some of the get to know you kind. One of my highly placed Sources would like to know if Rasputin was really as scary as he looks in the pictures?

N:  Bahh, Rasputin was a teddy bear. Why ,the way he’d bleed little Alexei would bring a tear to even the hardest heart. It came as a terrible shock when I heard how he had slipped on that icy meadow and accidentally shot himself in the forehead only to stumble for miles and fall into that river and freeze to death. I do think it was bad form myself but considering he came from peasant stock, well, blood will tell.

It seems to me that a man like myself, who has had such deep friendships and terrible hardships is perfectly suited to becoming World Book Czar, if you don’t me saying so.  Plus, my mustache and beard are demnedably sexy you know.

 

B:  Okaaaaay. Well, onto our next question.  An Anonymous poster asks “Why didn’t you send your family to safety sooner, you stupid man?”

N:  Hah, stupid? With a mustache and beard like this? I think not! It takes real brains to look this good. Besides, my family is perfectly safe. It’s me you should be worried about! Gallivanting all over the front lines straightening out those peasant generals. Tsk, tsk. Imagine, an army that doesn’t look stylish? I won’t have it.

That is yet another reason why I should be the World Book Czar. I’ll look good doing it. And styling is half the battle you know. G.I. Joseph told me that.

 

B: One particular lassie wanted to know how long it took to get gussied up, what with all those medals. As a follow up,  she was also interested in what made your mustache so grand?

N:  Hoho, a lassie? I’ll answer ANY questions for the girls. The girls all just love me so it’s only fair I return the favor.

How long to get all those medals on? It all depends on how arthritic Franz was feeling that morning. On a good morning, when he wasn’t bent over too bad, maybe 30minutes? But when he was feeling pugnacious or sulky and claimed he couldn’t even straighten up, closer to an hour. I don’t know what was wrong with that man. I would have thought that the honor of seeing me all “shinied” up would have sent his “arthritis” running. (I think he is faking half the time. He was only 60 for goodness sake)

Ahhh, the mustache. Brain power, pure intellect. I simply think about how great my mustache is each night and the power of my brain makes it so every morning.

 

B: These questions come from a very inquisitive monkey. No, not Curious George, but the Orangutan Librarian.  What did you think of the movie “Anastasia” and its music and would you haunt President Putin if you were a ghost?

N: You allow MONKEYS to ask you questions? My goodness, what kind of world do you live in there in the future anyway? Good thing I’m going to become World Book Czar and straighten everything out for you!

I have heard of these things you call movies. A great tool to entertain the useless masses and keep them happy while they waste their lives doing the pathetic things that only they are capable of. So whatever the music is like, as long as they sing it, I’m all for it. Nothing worse than a bored, uppity peasant.

“President” Putin you say? Well, I doubt his mustache is as great as mine, so I definitely would haunt him, just to mock him. Mustaches are serious business you know.

 

B: A Canadian would like to know what life after death is like.

N: A Canadian? Aren’t they the waffle eating, hockey playing people who kill everyone with uber-politeness? I like them! And considering that question, I’m guessing this Canadian must be an Highly Educated Russian Aristocrat in Exile!

What? He’s from peasant stock you say? I’m shocked!!!

Well, to answer the question. I don’t know. I’m so full of life that I plan on living forever. And that is a big point for me being World Book Czar. Continuity you know. No messy succession wars or anything. Just unchanging peace as I rule with a gentle hand upon all my book loving children across the world.

 

B:  Over the years, there has been a lot of dissent among the Book Blogger Community over so many issues. How would YOU bring such a rambunctious group together into one peaceful commune?

N: Ahhh, now we are getting into the nitty gritty of being World Book Czar. Good! I have mnogo, mnogo plans!

First off, I would bring all the bloggers together at my modest house. A mere 200 rooms should suffice, da? What, a million of these bloggers, with millions more? Hmmm, that changes things. Ok, Siberia it is then! I will create a winter wonderland where these bloggers can all congregate. Nature and human nature will weed out all the weak ones. Then I will  instruct the remaining ones in my personal philosophy on books.  Once they realize how rational, spiritual and perfect my philosophy is,  Utopia will have been achieved.

 

B: That actually brings up a great point. Another Blogger wants to know what you’re going to do if he doesn’t go along with your plans?

N: Not go along with my plans? Inconceivable! But now that you mention it, that is how my generals are acting nowadays. If this blogger won’t hasten Utopia and my powers of mustache won’t work, then I’ll just have to go with the old standby. Kill him and his entire family and clan. You say there are millions of these bloggers, so nobody will miss one or two anyway.

*claps hands*  Yes, I’m so brilliant!

 

B: Well, Nicky, I see that the clock says our time is up. Thanks so much for coming on over and answering our questions. As you know, the world NEEDS a World Book Czar and I appreciate you taking an interest in promoting this vital part of the book blogging community.

N: Happy to oblige, Gospodin Bookstooge. I am sure that readers everywhere will realize my shining leadership qualities in the upcoming Election and I have every confidence that they will pick the right man.

 

 

 

The Rest of the Story

After this interview, ol’ Nicky got himself abdicated and then executed by his fellow countrymen for being such an incompetent osel. Sadly, this puts him clean out of the running for World Book Czar. I sure hope you weren’t planning on voting for him!

 

Next Month on Meet the Candidate

I feel like I scored a real coup with getting this candidate to answer some questions. He’s a very busy businessman and globetrotter extraordinaire. With experience running mega-conglomerations and businesses so big they put countries to shame, I present…

…..LEX LUTHOR!!!

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So please, feel free to comment here on Poor Nicky’s Interview, but also, if you have questions for Mr Luthor, now is the time and here is the place.

Remember, you can always click on the “Meet the Candidate” tag to see all the candidates as they are revealed or the #worldbookczar one. I hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, Bookstooge Out.

 

 

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The First Name (Twilight of the Gods #1) ★☆☆☆☆ DNF@18%

firstname (Custom).jpgThis review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The First Name
Series: Twilight of the Gods #1
Author: Dennis Schmidt
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 307 DNF@18%
Format: Digital Scan

 

My Thoughts:

Due to there being 2 rape scenes which were graphic enough, I am done with this book.

★☆☆☆☆

 

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#6degrees – from Fight Club to ….

I’m sick of reading after having 3 books in a row really let me down. I’m taking a break.

After spoiling my last #6degree post (and you all know how much I HATE spoiling things for anyone who reads a post or review of mine), I realized that I wouldn’t put the Final Destination (ha!) into the post title. Just to keep things interesting.  Of course, if a mob forms and demands my head for such a course of action, I will gladly hand over the lackey who thought up such a terrible idea and let him take his justly deserved punishment.

 

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Fight Club. I’ve only ever seen the movie but when I googled for the book cover, there were a bajillion different ones and this one stuck out to me.  That cubist representation look is just so odd.

 

 

 

 

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Kim, on the other hand, has that old time classic look. I chose this version for my calibre library because I just love how it looks. Now, if you didn’t know,  Kim takes place in India when the British Empire was at its height.

 

 

 

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Son of the Black Sword by Larry Correia takes place in a Fantasy India-like place. This is a start of a new series by Correia and book 2 is coming out and book 3 is in production, so no chance of this series not being finished. However, so that I don’t forget the storyline, I’ll be waiting until it is finished to continue on.

 

 

 

 

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A whole series of books that I started but didn’t finish because I forgot about them while waiting for new books, was the Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. These books were a fictional account based on what some Protestants believe the Book of Revelation means in regards to the End of the World. The writing was just ok and while I disagree with some of the theology/speculation, I know enough about both men to know they have mapped out why they believe the way they do directly from the Bible.

 

 

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Unfortunately, I can’t say the same thing for The New Age Movement and the Illuminati: 666. This was tinfoil hat, conspiracy theory,  “turn a letter sidewise and it means this…” kind of book. It would have been hilarious except for the fact that a new christian I knew had been given it and she thought it was all as true as the Bible. She came to church in tears one Sabbath, so I borrowed it from her and wrote out about 2 pages of issues just from the intro to help her understand what a piece of garbage this was and how it had nothing to do with the Bible.  It made me pretty angry!

 

 

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Another piece of trash book, that DIDN’T make me angry was Carlton Mellick III’s Warrior Wolf Women of the WastelandI knew I was getting into trash territory just because of the cover, but my goodness, it was bad. Never was tempted to even LOOK at another book by the author.

 

 

 

 

 

So there we go. From Fight Club to Warrior Wolf Women of the Wastelands. No that crazy really, if you think about it.

Cheers!

 

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The Outcast (The Empire’s Corps #5) ☆☆☆☆½

outcast (custom)This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Outcast
Series: The Empire’s Corps #5
Author: Christopher Nuttall
Rating: 0.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 443
Format: Digital Edition

 

Synopsis:

Due to some of the subject matter included by the author, I will not be continuing with this series nor with this author.

 

My Thoughts:

3 or 4 throw away sentences. That was it.

Gahhh, the hits just keep on coming in. February is turning into one sucky month for book reading.

☆☆☆☆½

 

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RED (2010 Movie)

redWhat a blast of an action film!  Thanks to everyone who voted for it, it turned out fantastic.

If you care about details, here’s the IMDB page:

RED on IMDB

Basic synopsis is that Frank Moses is a Retired, Extremely Dangerous, blackops operative. The highlight of his life is tearing up his social security check each month so he can call and talk to Sarah, the bored, attractive woman who wants more than her cubicle job. Moses is attacked one night by a whole team of commandos and goes on the run. He ends up kidnapping Sara to keep her safe, as he knows his calls have been monitored and whoever his enemy is will come after her to get to him. Obviously, Sarah isn’t very happy about this, nor does she believe that Moses is anything more than a delusional nutjob stalker, until he rescues her from a fake police officer who tries to drug and kidnap her. Moses hooks up with various other RED operatives to figure out what is going on. It all comes down to the Vice President of the United States and a village being massacred many years ago.  Sarah gets captured and during the exchange, the real villain is revealed and the CIA agent who has been legally tracking Moses down realizes what is going on, switches sides and the good guys win (well, except for the VP. That bugger still dies).

 

I have been a Bruce Willis fan ever since I first saw Diehard on tv many years ago so any movie that stars him at least gets a “hmmm, maybe I’ll watch that someday” instead of outright dismissal like most of the movies today.  The rest of the cast is pretty great too.  Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren all fit their roles and one never overshadowed the other.  Mary-Louise Parker as Sarah the young woman (well, I say “young” but she’s gotta be in her early 30’s in the movie) seemed to be there to propel Moses onward and to show off her cleavage. Thankfully, after she gets onboard and realizes that Frank Moses is serious she becomes a good lense of “ordinary” while the others are all trained assassins.

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I also really enjoyed Karl Urban as the up and coming Specialist who is tracking down Moses without knowing the full story.  He is ruthless and completely competent but right from the get go we know he’s not a villain, as he’s talking to his wife on the phone about their son being bullied at school WHILE hanging a guy and making it look like a suicide. That was just awesome! Also, he was a bit more chiseled in his face than when I saw him in Thor: Ragnarok, where he looked like a fat little dumpling. Once he knows the full story at the end he does the right thing. He and Willis do a brutal fight scene inside the CIA and it captures the essence of this movie. Hard, brutal, awesome and totally unrealistic.

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Make no mistake, if things being “real” is something you need in a movie, don’t bother with this. In the first scene where Urban and Willis meet each other, Willis steps out of a moving at 30mph, spinning car and times things so he can step out of the car, miss the backend hitting him and starts walking towards Urban and shooting at him.  It is physically impossible to go from a moving car to a walk, as your body is moving 30mph as well. But my goodness, it looked so cool!

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At the same time, this was not a grim movie, not by any means. John Malkovich provides enough lunacy as a lsd experiment by the CIA to make anyone laugh and the little subplot with Helen Mirren and her old flame, a Russian operative, is gold. Freeman, as an operative with cancer, brings some poignancy to the movie and Brian Cox, as Mirren’s old flame, almost makes me not want to kill communists (but only “almost”).

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I immediately went on and watched RED 2 and enjoyed it too. Not quite so cool, but still fun. However, a 3rd movie was never made and I don’t know why.  I suspect that the 25% drop in revenue between the two movies might have had something to do with it however. This was actually based on a series of comics published by DC but while I enjoyed the movies tremendously, I doubt I’ll ever check them out.

Overall, this was a fantastic movie that scratched that over the top action machoman guy itch I occasionally get.

 

Next month I’m letting Mrs B pick the movie and I think she’s already settled on one called Penelope. I guess I’ll find out what it is about when I watch it with her 🙂 I just LOVE surprises!

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